Boob Sweat

Seriously all you flat chested bizznatches are so lucky especially in the hot and humid summer.
The absolutely worst part of double D's is the boob sweat.
Ew. Gross.
When I get ready, I put socks under my boobs in my bra to sock up the sweat, save the bra "a little" before I go outside. Many times I forget and they stay in all day. There was a moment about 5 years ago I wanted to invent/put a patent on Boobie Socks. Then I was at Lane Bryantand they already have a like microfiber shit of an idea but same concept, buttya the MAN or flatboober that invented this doesnt know microfiber doesnt sop up no sweat, and actually makes me sweat more.
Maybe I'll call Victoria and let her in on my secret: Boobie Socks.
Seriously, It Works people!

Sentences are the easy part of writing a book

I can't be the only one like me. Why does it have to be so hard for me? He still makes my heart pitter-patter, even after 50 years. Why would he choose her over me? I would love to drink every day, it's the hangovers I could do without. Why do things like a person clickclickclicking their fucking pen drive me crazy? There is blood on the hearth again. She lied to me since I was 12 years old. I can talk shit about my sister, but don't you dare. I am an adult and I have run away from home. Running away from home sounds like such a good idea, I wonder if my husband and kids would notice... I watch her leave every morning out my cracked and peeling front window. If I wasn't a Mom, I'd be a nobody. I have good intentions of getting involved with church or room-mothering in my daughter's class, but then I remember Ellen comes on at 4:00 and my DVR isn't working. The braless wonder next door is already dating and I think her husband's corpse is still cold. I've been writing in my head my whole entire life of 37 years, ok maybe 20 of those, but I'm not an author yet. My life is unsatisfying, want to know why? Percocet makes me happy to be in pain, but the pain is still there. My dad told me about six months after being released from prison that he'd write a book called "Change in My Pocket". If I would have said yes that day he asked me out, my life would be so different. If I had more money than brains, I'd buy myself a wife. If you say one more word, I may bash in your face. My mom has dementia and anger problems, my dad has heart disease and diabetes- I'm fucked. I have a friend that no one knows about. He decided not to wear a helmet that day. Disney can kiss my fat white ass. I want to believe he's in the CIA, he just has to be. I haven't heard from him in over 12 years. There had to have been a sound or a clue that made me think he was hiding something or someone. I do my best thinking on the shitter. I hope she is really nice because she sure is ugly. He left Granny, with 3 kids, for a fiery red head. I normally get a good read on people, whether good or bad, but her I get no read. She has to be fucking nuts. My mom told my dad, when I was about 10 years old, that he would not teach me or my sister to take over his landscape business because girls do not want to get dirt under their nails. The truck was in the backyard bent in half with corn stalks sticking out all over it. We called the bar and told him we wanted him to bring home a pizza, but he never came home. I have no talent. I think singing would be such an awesome release of feelings, belt out that shit. We only made it to one Friday by the Fountain. Is that a unicorn behind that dump truck? Mom, I see a unicorn by the dump truck. I saw a fairy and didn't tell anyone. I have a friend that no one knows about. There is no such thing as a Princess. Yes, there is. They just don't live here in Indiana.

fat food

Do you think I have an issue/problem/addiction if we ate out so many times in two weeks we spent $232.32?
Hmmm let me think, no, couldn't be a problem. On one income? Stupid.
We got paid 3 times this month and didn't have to pay preschool, so then we just blow that much money on NOTHING?!
What the hell is that?
I could have bought over a week's worth of groceries with that. OR anything other than fat food. I meant to say fat food not fast food, because that's all it is. Look around the next time you go into a fast food joint.
I have nothing to show for it except I didn't lose any weight this week or eat clean...so then I feel like I'm a lazy ass loser.
Worried about my kid being sick? Buy good ass vitamins/probiotics/Organic at Whole Foods but let her eat McDonald's????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Makes complete fucking sense. maybe for a moron.

What is it? What's it take to just change?  Why are things that do with my and my kids health just put on a back burner like it's no big deal? Why?
Only answer I can come up with is that I am in deed a lazy ass loser...
stressed out and depressed?

Combo meal upsized.

The Unicorn and The Dumptruck

Once upon a time...if I write a children's book, which is a dream of mine from as far back as I can remember, not really, It's a dream from probably when I was 16 or 17 years old, definately in high school thinking about becoming a teacher with my bright future ahead of me...anyways, it would never, never ever, start with once upon a time, probably copyright protected by Disney anyways, possibly by Grimm.
I didn't know I would be 36 and still an unknown author, but maybe listening to my 4 yr old could give me some crazy kid book ideas.
The Unicorn, Isabella, and The Dumptruck.......that's all I got, but I have been 'daydreaming' scenarios of Isabella and the dumptruck so, we could be onto something.

I miss you blog, we'll be seeing alot more of each other...this may be where I start writing my books...
not all children's either...hmmmm

Kendra The Unknown Author, kinda cool sounding...but man, how about
Kendra Published Author?

I read that if your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough.

I also read that authors who get published, never give up....
so my motto should be Dream It, Do It, Don't take no for an answer apparently....
for every 20 no's, maybe that one yes is out there somewhere...now to actually WRITE the book...

Hi Blog, oh how I've missed you. I have an iPhone now so maybe I'll blog more often, but then again maybe not because I don't get ON the actual computer to do things now with an actual keyboard, so we'll see...Wait, I do get on the computer every other Friday to pay bills, so maybe I'll blog twice a month...paying bills makes me crabby usually though so maybe I won't. Alot has happened since I last blogged. I need to see when it was, I think it was October 2011!! Maybe I'll make a list.... 1.I'm fatter. Alot fatter. 2.I'm still not pregnant. 3.I have an iPhone, oh wait I told you that already. 4.We moved into our new house in Mishawaka. *5.I actually moved into, then out and back into...this ones needs its own blog... 6.We got and got rid of Rosie the Rottweiler. 7.I'm a lazy ass pet owner. 8.I'm addicted to Words w Friends and Scramble w Friends. 9.If I spent less time on my phone and more time DOING stuff, gosh I'd get alot done. *10.AJ turned 40.I threw him a surprise party. This could be a fun blog by itself. *11.Aj and I have found serious quality time in riding the motorcycle together. 12.He's the Sgt at Arms in Marine Riders of Michiana Motorcycle club. 13.The families in the club are just awesome. 14.I have worn tank tops. I haven't in YEARs. 15.I have another tattoo, M-a-g-g-i-e with a butterfly, it rocks. 16.I still want sleeves..for you lame peeps, that means tattoos all over my arms. *17.My dad had quadruple bypass and a valve replacement surgery- he's lucky he's alive really. This one too will probably be its own blog. 18.I've been married 5 years, but now I feel like it really means something. See#5. 19.Maggie went to Soccer 3 times and decided she hated it, didn't participate but a little bit... *20. Maggie went to Mishawaka High School for Preschool this past fall! awww. This will probably need it own blog too. *21. Seesh, My baby girl will be 4 in two weeks - looks like I'm also long over due to write her a 'bletter' (blog letter)!! 22.I had carpal tunnel surgery June 1st, woot, my hand isn't asleep! 23.I'm more thankful for what I have. *24.I've decided I will never again say "I'll do that when I'm skinny." OR "I'll wear that when I'm skinny."- I'm not just living life and I'm tired of it - another one needs its own blog. 25.I kinda like this list thing- now I know what blogs I need to write, and if I forget, I can check out this list. ha. gosh, genius. Are you believing how smart I am? ha....hmmmm 7 blogs to follow...

Letter to Granny

Granny,
You are still here and I'm so thankful. It hit me the other day what a fighter you are. You are the person I think of often that makes me happy. You are a vivid involved memory to me of my childhood. Some don't have that with their grandmas, and that makes me sad. You were MY Granny but I know soooo many people you were their 'Granny' too. You love everyone no matter what. You are to me the picture of what a christian woman should be. You live 20 minutes from me and I don't make time to come see you even once every other week, that is about to change. I have the fortunate blessing that I am still friends with Brian Dukehart. You sent him a birthday card and what you said in it made him cry. People know you genuinely care about them even if they don't tell you. I have memories of you that go back as far as I can remember. You picked me up from school if I was sick. You watched us after school so mom was able to work. You didn't beat me&Steven even when we drew with colors(not chalk)all over your patio&glued construction paper to your concrete basement walls. You came into my 1st grade classroom and taught us kids to candlewick. You were at every sporting event I was ever in, I honestly don't remember you missing ANY. When mom threw her back out and couldn't move, you were the one to come to my 6th grade graduation breakfast. You always had coloring books&games, which I still love even now at 34 years old! I know what a sports nut is because of you and March Madness&Kentucky! oh and thanks for making me a wheel-of-fortune&Jeopardy addict:) I have no clue how you cooked for all those people on thanksgiving&when it was time to eat it was all ready at the same time&piping hot, there were like 40 people there!! You always had your nails done in a frosty pinkish color. I can hear the 'twisting clinky sound' of your rings rubbing together when you are thinking about something. I wonder what you are thinking about so intently. Why didn't I ever ask? You and your sunporch, ha, every morning, even when it was cold, you'd be bundled up in your robe with your bible&cigarettes, it's just how you look to me, comfortable&doing your own thing! Do you have ANY regrets in your life? I know your kids and grandkids are probably your favorite thing about life, and if it isn't, well you always made me feel like I was, so thank you. Gosh, you let us live with you, all of us, one of us, another one of us at any given time, and you always made it feel like home. You cooked the best meatloaf! Oh and your eggs always tasted better than any I've ever had anywhere else. White Shoulders perfume is one scent I will always associate with you, so don't wear anything else, it's just not how my Granny smells:) Anyways, I guess I should not blog all this and I should just call you, nope not a phone call, wouldn't be able to tell you all of this without crying, maybe I'll write you a good old fashioned letter, not a print out from one of these crazy computer things 'you'll never understand!" (sorry my hand surgery got in the way of writing you this). It's been hard thinking about you not being around, I never thought you wouldn't be. Then stupid cancer came on. grrrrrr. I need Granny here. The world needs Granny here...Made me angry, made me sad, made me frustrated...then I also felt comfort because I know exactly where you are going.

shud i have anonymous blog

i have so much on my mind at any given time, it's kinda sickening. i have things i probably should say out loud. things i for sure shouldn't say out loud. when i get worked up or pissed off, i cry. why is that? and becuz i cry, it makes me more mad and then i cry more because i don't want to cry when i'm pissed and want to get my point across without crying. did you get all that? then, when i type my right hand gets all pins&needley from my loveable carpal tunnel symdrome i need surgery on. don't wanna get surgery yet, that's what i said 2 years ago, because it's my RIGHT hand , my dominate hand, my butt wiping hand, my strong hand and it'll be none of those things for awhile after surgery but then i could type and blog and sleep on my right side without this annoying pain, it's just on the verge of going to sleep pins and needles but not quite asleep, then i get like electricity running thru it sensation too which is more annoying than painful but painful in its own right, don't wanna downplay the pain here cuz at times i wannna scream especially when it wakes me up at night and mama don't wanna be woken up if there isn't a baby hollering for me cuz mama needs sleep or mama bitchy. ok so what was the point of this? oh yes, anonymous blog or not? dammit see, my hands asleep.......kfjadsoifdo[sihsdofasofasuf[osdfij (this is how i type cuss dirty word) UPDATE: June 1st, 2012 - I had carpal tunnel surgery. and I don't do an anonymous blog. Thank you.