Seriously all you flat chested bizznatches are so lucky especially in the hot and humid summer.
The absolutely worst part of double D's is the boob sweat.
Ew. Gross.
When I get ready, I put socks under my boobs in my bra to sock up the sweat, save the bra "a little" before I go outside. Many times I forget and they stay in all day. There was a moment about 5 years ago I wanted to invent/put a patent on Boobie Socks. Then I was at Lane Bryantand they already have a like microfiber shit of an idea but same concept, buttya the MAN or flatboober that invented this doesnt know microfiber doesnt sop up no sweat, and actually makes me sweat more.
Maybe I'll call Victoria and let her in on my secret: Boobie Socks.
Seriously, It Works people!
Monday, June 10, 2013
Friday, June 7, 2013
Sentences are the easy part of writing a book
I can't be the only one like me.
Why does it have to be so hard for me?
He still makes my heart pitter-patter, even after 50 years.
Why would he choose her over me?
I would love to drink every day, it's the hangovers I could do without.
Why do things like a person clickclickclicking their fucking pen drive me crazy?
There is blood on the hearth again.
She lied to me since I was 12 years old.
I can talk shit about my sister, but don't you dare.
I am an adult and I have run away from home.
Running away from home sounds like such a good idea, I wonder if my husband and kids would notice...
I watch her leave every morning out my cracked and peeling front window.
If I wasn't a Mom, I'd be a nobody.
I have good intentions of getting involved with church or room-mothering in my daughter's class, but then I remember Ellen comes on at 4:00 and my DVR isn't working.
The braless wonder next door is already dating and I think her husband's corpse is still cold.
I've been writing in my head my whole entire life of 37 years, ok maybe 20 of those, but I'm not an author yet.
My life is unsatisfying, want to know why?
Percocet makes me happy to be in pain, but the pain is still there.
My dad told me about six months after being released from prison that he'd write a book called "Change in My Pocket".
If I would have said yes that day he asked me out, my life would be so different.
If I had more money than brains, I'd buy myself a wife.
If you say one more word, I may bash in your face.
My mom has dementia and anger problems, my dad has heart disease and diabetes- I'm fucked.
I have a friend that no one knows about.
He decided not to wear a helmet that day.
Disney can kiss my fat white ass.
I want to believe he's in the CIA, he just has to be. I haven't heard from him in over 12 years.
There had to have been a sound or a clue that made me think he was hiding something or someone.
I do my best thinking on the shitter.
I hope she is really nice because she sure is ugly.
He left Granny, with 3 kids, for a fiery red head.
I normally get a good read on people, whether good or bad, but her I get no read. She has to be fucking nuts.
My mom told my dad, when I was about 10 years old, that he would not teach me or my sister to take over his landscape business because girls do not want to get dirt under their nails.
The truck was in the backyard bent in half with corn stalks sticking out all over it.
We called the bar and told him we wanted him to bring home a pizza, but he never came home.
I have no talent.
I think singing would be such an awesome release of feelings, belt out that shit.
We only made it to one Friday by the Fountain.
Is that a unicorn behind that dump truck?
Mom, I see a unicorn by the dump truck.
I saw a fairy and didn't tell anyone.
I have a friend that no one knows about.
There is no such thing as a Princess. Yes, there is. They just don't live here in Indiana.
fat food
Do you think I have an issue/problem/addiction if we ate out so many times in two weeks we spent $232.32?
Hmmm let me think, no, couldn't be a problem. On one income? Stupid.
We got paid 3 times this month and didn't have to pay preschool, so then we just blow that much money on NOTHING?!
What the hell is that?
I could have bought over a week's worth of groceries with that. OR anything other than fat food. I meant to say fat food not fast food, because that's all it is. Look around the next time you go into a fast food joint.
I have nothing to show for it except I didn't lose any weight this week or eat clean...so then I feel like I'm a lazy ass loser.
Worried about my kid being sick? Buy good ass vitamins/probiotics/Organic at Whole Foods but let her eat McDonald's????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Makes complete fucking sense. maybe for a moron.
What is it? What's it take to just change? Why are things that do with my and my kids health just put on a back burner like it's no big deal? Why?
Only answer I can come up with is that I am in deed a lazy ass loser...
stressed out and depressed?
Combo meal upsized.
Hmmm let me think, no, couldn't be a problem. On one income? Stupid.
We got paid 3 times this month and didn't have to pay preschool, so then we just blow that much money on NOTHING?!
What the hell is that?
I could have bought over a week's worth of groceries with that. OR anything other than fat food. I meant to say fat food not fast food, because that's all it is. Look around the next time you go into a fast food joint.
I have nothing to show for it except I didn't lose any weight this week or eat clean...so then I feel like I'm a lazy ass loser.
Worried about my kid being sick? Buy good ass vitamins/probiotics/Organic at Whole Foods but let her eat McDonald's????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Makes complete fucking sense. maybe for a moron.
What is it? What's it take to just change? Why are things that do with my and my kids health just put on a back burner like it's no big deal? Why?
Only answer I can come up with is that I am in deed a lazy ass loser...
stressed out and depressed?
Combo meal upsized.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)