Frumpy MomMom

I used to say to Aj, why does she let herself outta the house like that?
We'd be out to dinner and I'd see a family of say 4, mom/dad/toddler and baby, Dad looked great, kids put together, mom without makeup and her hair all in a desheveled heap...
Now I get it.

Making Memories

Christmas always makes me kinda sad...not sad...melancholy...I think alot...

Maybe now that Maggie will be all about Christmas, it'll be more fun...
I can't wait to see her ripping into her presents...
We are making memories and our 'own' traditions...I've stole some from my childhood of course, cuz that's what I remember but it'll be fun to make our own...I want memories and traditions Maggie will remember when she is 32 years old like I am now...I want her to see pictures of herself opening her presents on Christmas morning all sleepy eyed and excited...I want her to put up her tree later on and think about MomMom and Dadda when she is going through her ornaments from the past 30 some years...I hope she laughs and cries(just a little)...I hope she rolls her eyes and laughs when she thinks of some dumb doily sweatshirt she got when she was 10 from her Grandparents...
I still remember, for real, seeing Santa too...there was a light up santa in his sleigh on the way to xmas eve at my grandpa's house in someone's front yard and when we left later that night, he was gone...for years, i knew i'd seen santa...i still wonder, even if it's corny, why would it have been gone? why would the people move it? basically, it HAD to have been Santa because no other explanation makes any sense, right?!:)Jenna and I had a very good Santa, we had no reason to not believe!!! My 4th grade teacher actually ruined it for me...he told us that there was no Santa...I was in shock...I guess my friends already knew there wasn't a Santa...I felt dumb for being so old and not knowing...part of me still believes in the idea of Santa, so there Mr. Peterich, you didn't ruin my WHOLE life, buttface! :)

I had a million dollars...

I'd be rich.

oh, my point was not just to plug a Bare Naked Ladies song but to say
seriously if I had a million dollars, Maggie would be getting alot of stuff for Christmas...hmmm
What would I do with that much money?
1.I would buy a new house, not a huge house, but a nice 4 bedroom 2 bathroom ranch with about 2 acres of land(enough room for hubby to have his pole barn).
2.I would buy Aj a Harley.
3.I would give money to my sister.I assume she'd buy a house too probably.
4.I would give money to my mom.
5.I would buy my seester a new car, the older Honda style she likes so much.
6.I would get lasic eye surgery for sure, no more contacts!
7.I would buy home gym equipment.
8.Aj would give money to his mom I'm sure...
9.I'd not give my dad money, I'd see what he needed and pay for it myself because he'd go blow it on stupid shit:) Hey, it's the truth.
10. INVEST
11. Put lots of money away for Maggie(cars, needs, College...)

Would 1 million even be enough to do all that? I don't even know what 1 million is. The biggest check I ever had was $14,000 and I thought that was a butt load...hmmmm
anywho, it'll never happen. Back to life, back to reality...(another song plug by I don't know who from like the 80's or 90's)

Maggie likes to perform

Today, I woke up BEFORE Maggie, which was a nice change. I got to sit and watch the news for a little bit before she woke up. She woke up saying HI HI HI HI.
She is saying so much: Hi,On,Ellen(EhNin)Shoe,Happy,Hat,Abby,Why...WHY is her new favorite. I don't think she knows what it means yet, thank goodness. MomMom is also alot more now. She'll even grab my sweatshirt off the back of the chair (coat rack) and says MomMom, like she is really helping me know that it's mine, it's too cute.
Her new favorite room to play in is her own, but she wants Aj or I in there with her. She puts on some of her sun hats and 'sings', but the door must be closed to do so because then she can stand in between her closet door and her door, which makes sort of an echo sound, but it is also a nice little area for a 'stage'! She even claps when she is done 'singing'. She really likes to 'sing' to the Princesses on her bag that is hanging on her closet door too. SHE KILLS ME. I would rather gnaw my limbs off than sing on a stage! :)
She is also all about dancing, to every beat imaginable. She loves All the Single Ladies by Beyonce' alot! I can just start to sing it to her and she puts her hands up and starts rockin' out. Thank God Maggie doesn't know yet that MomMom cannot sing, it would ruin our moments.
So my little performing Midgit Princess is all about it and today at Target, I spied a pink and purple MICROPHONE! I'm the best MomMom ever, that's what Maggie said to me with her eyes and her very enthusiastic smile! Now she can 'sing' LOUDER! woot woot

ChrisTIMas!

I've had a HORRIBLE few days...Maggie's been sick, I've been sick, Aj's been sick, the devil reared it's ugly head and is messing with my sanity...

long story short...
Aj, bless his little heart, gave me my christmas present early(well xmas present and anniversary present, our 3 yr anniversary is in January)
Two tickets to see Tim McGraw at Van Andel Arena in Grand Rapids MI in February!!Bonus is Lady Antebellum is opening for him too and I like them alot...Hopefully spend the night up there somewhere too the night of the concert:)
Woot Woot.He knows the way to my heart...just mix it up with a little Tim baby!

BUT this could also be the end of our marriage...hmmm...can he handle seeing me seeing Tim?
I get 'a little' excited...it was nice being married for 3 years:) ha ha ha

All I want is....

If I had like $500 right now, I'd be all about Christmas shopping.
There are so many cool things I can't afford to buy people. I'd buy for pretty much everyone if I could too. Just buy it cuz I can and it's perfect for someone.
BUT
Since I ain't got no monies, I'll do another load of laundry, watch the Bears football game, blog while Maggie is sleeping, eat a home made tuna melt with lots of relish and dill and a little paprika, blow my nose alot on my Puffs Plus, use my sinuCleanse to get the goo out the nose, shower and then get back into some jammies...you heard me, get back into jammies for 3rd day in a row...stupid head sickies, go away!

Shrek helps the Sickies

We're all sick.
Snot.
Cough.
Sore Throat.
UGH.
Maggie's is the worst because I can't 'do' anything for her. She is taking her medicine, which is good, but I want to take her sickies away. Poor thing is miserable. Sleeping and snuggling alot, not that I'm complaining. Snuggly Maggie is nice, but after a week, I could go to the bathroom without her crying cuz I'm not holding her :(
and
Thank Heavens for Shrek, Shrek 2 and Shrek 3(which she picks out and says BeeBee (baby)cuz Shrek Baby is on the front cover)! She is liking Shrek even more than Elmo at the moment, I could get used to this, that is for sure. Elmo is sitting on my last nerve. The Shrek movies are funny and I can watch too. She obviously is cool watching longer movies too, cuz she is glued to the tv when Shrek is on, so no ADD yet:)

Maggie is sick

sick with a little tiny low grade fever...
I'm nutty worried...
I over react...
so glad God knows what i can handle...
anywho...
i worry

O.B.E.S.E

My name is Kendra and I am obese. I need to focus, for real. I need to lose 77 lbs. Even then, certain weight calculators and BMI requirements say I'm overweight still...hmmm.
Right now, I'm obese! Just say that out loud...O.B.E.S.E. I was going to say it sounds like a disease and laugh, but it IS. Obese. Obese. Obese.
My focus has been Maggie and adjusting to having a terrible back. I eat what's quick and easy and some days don't care what goes into my body. As far as exercise, who am I kidding. Walking is few and far between. What is it gonna take for me to DO something about how I look. I don't want to say I just want to be skinny, I want to be healthy. So here's what apparently in the back of my mind surfaced a couple days ago, I didn't care because I want to get pregnant again anyways, so why put all the hard work in to just gain it back? Ok, for real, what kind of ridiculous attitude is that? If I try, it lasts like 4 days, then I stop. My back starts to stiffen and I get super nervous it's going to 'go out' again. I have to find something that works for me for the long haul and that doesn't hurt my back. I weight 4 lbs MORE than when I gave birth to Maggie. I lost like 2 lbs after she was born, how is that possible if she weighed 6 lbs 14 oz? Anywho, I feel like a failure and I'm embarrassed with how I look. Two people have either asked me or indirectly asked if I was pregnant again. Um, no, I just look 6 mos pregnant with my big fat gut. If I start to cut back on calories and certain foods, I feel deprived. Hello, emotional attachment to food. I was 140 lbs in high school and played 3 sports, I know now would be different to get back down to 140 lbs, but my point is: I thought I was fat then. Whatever. I had muscle definition, a waist, and boobs...hello, if I looked like that now, I'd be hot. Anywho, I'm just feeling like I'm a little lost in balancing all this. I need some sort of motivation. I know I'm supposed to take care of myself first so I can take care of others(Maggie), but why do I see this as something I'll start again and I'll just fail, so why even try?! I don't have that go-get-'em attitude like I should. I know what I'm supposed to do, I know that nothing tastes as good as being thin feels, but I like food. I like the satisfaction I get from it, ugh. Wouldn't I be MORE satisfied if I did something good for myself instead? Wouldn't I be less tired all the time? Wouldn't my back feel better with 70 some lbs off my body to lug around? Energy, what's that? How do I make this a change that is for the rest of my life? Even when I type that 'rest of my life', it's another sinking feeling of why even start or try? Why do I feel like this? Because it's hard? I know it's hard because I have lost weight and gained it back like 4times now......I remember thinking when I was 21 that it was the last time, that was 11 years ago...ugh....so maybe when I'm 33 in April of 2010 it'll be the last time????? O.B.E.S.E. Again, say it out loud, it's not a sexy word. O.B.E.S.E.

ever changing

Maggie is changing up her own schedule again. Jenna warned me of this, just when you get used to something they do or it seems like there is a rhyme or reason to what's going on, it changes. She is now getting up in the morning early and wanting to keep her paci and blanket with her out on the couch and watch tv. Now she's slowly waking up unlike before shen she'd just get up and start jumping around in her crib like she was nuts. Sometimes she'll sit still for like an hour. That is a long time. Seems like 2 nights now too she wants to wind down doing the same thing. She goes in her room and grabs her blanket if it isn't with her already and sits up on the couch like a big girl. Yesterday, Aj was downstairs getting ready for work and I was packing his lunch and Maggie was just in on the couch watching the Notre Dame Football game all by herself. She was all snuggly in her blanket and was content for like 45 mins just sitting there. Seriously just one week ago, she was going going going going like the energizer bunny all day long. It would take me grabbing her to get her to even sit on my lap for one minute. She'd come to me to sit on my lap to read a book, but other than that, she was MOVING. Is this her little way of telling me she's getting older? Is she now not going to be a morning person right out the gate? She's not crabby first or last part of the day either, unless I try to take her blanket or paci away, then we have issues. She gives me this look like um, why you do that? She is also very helpful now in getting dressed for the day. She likes to help put her pants on. She'll stand up, without me directing her, hold onto my shoulders and raise one of her toots to put in the leg hole. It's so cute. She pretty much picks out which shoes she wears for the day too. I have usually 3 pairs out and she lets me know which ones she is NOT wearing. It's very clear that she knows what goes with her outfit. Are you kidding me kid? :)
When Aj leaves for work now too, her routine is different. She did it all on her own too. He stands outside the glass door and they fist bump the window at each other, too cute. Then she is like bye bye and shuts the big door. I think she thinks it's cool that she can push the BIG door closed. Anywho, my point: She is getting so big so fast. Things are changing. She is trying to say just about everything too! This is crazy!! She says tuhhdown(touchdown), house, mo(elmo), coo coo...pee...wow...AaGhee(Auntie Jenn)...Mimi...Poppa...pop...hop...two...

Bling

Maggie and I went to Walmart to check on the deals...and we needed some groceries.
She kills me. She likes bling. She will reach out of the cart as far as she can and 'uh uh uh' for very girly things. Today it was the big heart bracelet with Disney Princesses on it, there are 3 beaded bracelets all attached by this big gawdy plastic heart. So, for $3.50, she is one happy shopper. She also really really liked the Women's Elmo sweatshirt, the whole sweatshirt was red and Elmo's face took up the whole front, god awful ugly, only came in woman's sizes, I don't think Maggie appreciated that. I had to get her to want the Elmo DVD that was on sale, nothing blingy about the dvd case MomMom, duh. Then towards the front of the store was the container of Wet Ones that fits in your car's cup holder, this was a must apparently because it was yellow and pink, girly blingy enough for Maggie to want it. Hey, why not, can't have too many wipes.
Where in the world is she getting the blingy girly gene from? I couldn't be less blingy. I do earrings(small ones) and my wedding rings, that is as blingy as I get on a normal basis. I don't wear really girly clothes. No frills. Jeans and sweatshirts are how I roll. I guess Disney knows their stuff and how to market the frilly girly blingy crap, the more attractive it is to little girls like Maggie the more money they make...maybe she'll grow out of it, but I'm not holding my breath:)
(She slept with her bracelet too...so much for saving it for a stocking stuffer)

you know when something is missing

Thanksgiving was a success. I was worried, Aj was deep frying the turkey this year. It was very yummo and moist(that's for you Jenj). I am bummed though, not enough left overs for a sandwich, which is what I like more than the 'dinner' itself. I would pass over all desserts to have a sandwich at like 9pm while playing cards with the family... damn, too many people, not enough bird...and no mashed potatoes, just sayin...you know when something is missing because you have it every year, but it's just food right?...I would have brought some taters in a box mixed up nice and buttery, but I thought the menu was taken care of...anywho...
I can get over it, I know, because Thanksgiving was great. I have alot to be thankful for....alot. Maggie of course being numero uno!
Maybe next year we buy an extra turkey breast for left over sammiches...hmmmmm
oh wait, I was saying what I'm thankful for, ha.
:)

Black Friday? Really? the news said it might as well be a holiday...wow. Um, no. It shouldn't. Today should be a continuation of Thanksgiving and family time, not freakin' shopping. Stay in your pj's, watch movies, cuddle and be thankful...you can even now legally put up your Christmas decorations if you wish:) You do know that it isn't 'legal' to put up xmas stuff until today right? :)

Let the Reason for the Season shine through...and keep your tree in the box because you have a 17 month old...Busting out the table topper tree, stockings and lights should be just fine...oooo but then there are more electrical cords to worry about...lights on the porch, we can look at through the windows...stockings hung high...battery operated tree up on the table...no cords, no Maggie getting electricuted, now that's a 'Murry' Christmas! It'll feel like something is missing not having a big nice tree and xmas stuff threw up all over the house, but when Maggie is old enough to help and not eat everything, it'll be much more fun for da MomMom!!

Hilarious Blog from Melissa!! A MUST READ!

i have a great thanksgiving time story. it happened to one of my friends from ywam (youth with a mission). i was in denver ywam in 2000. the thanksgiving after the year i was in here's what happened....


my friend, katie, was in a safeway. (that's the stores that they have a lot of places.. it was a few days before thanksgiving. katie was walking around the store minding her own business when she noticed a very conspicuous rather large black woman walking down the aisle. she just happened to follow this lady out of safeway. the manager of the store noticed this lady... she was nearly waddling, but you could totally tell she was trying to get away with something. there wasn't much proof though. so, my friend katie follows her out of the store. about 10 feet from the entrance a 10 pound ham falls out of this ladies shirt... and the lady yells, "fo real do, who phrew dat ham at me!?" so now, at the most opportune times myself, or one of my friends that's heard this story... will randomly yell out, "fo real do, who phrew dat ham at me!?"


good times. hope everyone has a blessed ham this thanksgiving :)

Temporary Insanity

So other than I really must have been insane, the 12 reasons to not have dogs is
1. Maggie likes them from a distance or in a cage.
2. Leona, our cat, does not like ANY other animals.
3. Double the vet bills.
4. Vet bills at all, we have one income, dumb idea.
5. I have enough on my platter of stuff to do.
6. I'm a lazy pet owner, I admit it.
7. It's going to be winter...
8. Cleaning up dog pee in the living room and trying to keep Maggie out of the way was not the easiest thing ever.
9. Aj was like 80% not on board and 20& sorta on board with getting the dogs.
10. I was 80% excited and 20% nervous, never 100%!
11. Deciding to not get the dogs, was not a conversation about dogs, it was a much deeper conversation about communication between a man and his wife.
12. I don't want to clean up dog poop in the back yard.

Anywho, a good conversation came about because of the dogs, but that is between me and my husband. We have communication difficulties. He never wants to deny me of anything....the jist...we don't have two dogs and we won't ever speak of getting a dog until maybe and this is a big maybe, we have two kids that are like 10 and 12...even then, I want my low maintenance kitties. Apparently I'm not a dog person like I thought, you can't be a lazy pet owner and have a dog! Hello. Cats, now that's it. Leona is fat, lazy and pretty ok with laying around and playing with Maggie when Maggie says so:) Leona is really good with Maggie surprisingly. Maggie can just about sit on her and Leona will just move or roll away...Why did I want to mess up this little family that was comfy? Temporary Insanity. It happens.

Jenna's Pee Story

Lame!

The Army? Really? Really, Really.

I still to this day cannot believe Jenna was in the Army. It's not that she didn't have it in her. She has it in her to do whatever she puts her mind to. She is strong and smart like that. But joining the Army? I still can't fathom it.
I would never. I have too many issues with well everything I'd have to do in the Army. Sleeping in and on who knows what...what if I had to shit? They don't just say oh, well honey, the bathroom with the magazines is right over there, take your time, we'll come back around for you:)...
Never.

Target Tantrum

Today was one of those days, well day two of one of those days. Maggie didn't really nap other than about 45 mins or so and that makes for a long day. She needs her quality 2 hours mid day and so does Mommy. I need my break. Plus started my period, meaning: I have cramps, I'm tired and I'm NOT pregnant. So I was a little bummed.
After Maggie woke up from her 45 min snooze, she was strong crab. Aj , bless his heart, took her with him to Menards to buy a turkey fryer to give me a little time by myself. They were gone about an hour and I paid bills and watched Ellen. Boring, but nice.
I called a couple people to go shopping but no one was able to, so Maggie and I went to Target by ourselves. We ate Pizza Hut dinner and I wanted to look for some Christmas presents. She was fine, just busy looking at everything, holding and folding 75% off Pumpkin stickers...then, she was done. I took her to the toy aisles...OH MY...she was in heaven. I let her down outta the cart and she was a nut case...Elmo, "beebee"(dolls), horseys, dora, little ugly monster looking bouncy balls, oh a fuzzy Elmo, Oh the Elmo hands, oh baby Ariel, oooo baby Cinderella...She was so happy, I hated to have to stop it. But, hello, we can't spend the night at Target, they aren't open 24 hrs. Anywho, surprisingly she was ok getting back in the cart and I made my way for the check out. 3 lanes open and lots of people...took awhile and she was getting pretty ansy...and yes, I said 3 lanes! We paid for out stuff, I put her coat on and let her down out of the cart to leave. I let her walk in and out cuz she oh so enjoys the big red concrete balls outside of Target. Well, apparently she didn't want to go, I'm putting on my sweatshirt (cuz I got really warm in Target with their heat at 95 degrees) and she throws herself down on her chest and starts to yell, half cry, half yell kinda of thing. She starts to push herself backward while still on the ground, kinda at a slide...all this took like 3.2 milliseconds and I pick her up and she is arching her back and starting to really cry...I go to grab my diaper bag and my one bag of Target goods so I can pretty much bolt and carrying her out of there...and then she just stops. She's fine. She realizes we are going out where the big red concrete balls are! She is lucky I was warm, I let her run around outside the front of Target for 25 mins between the balls, by the carts, up on the curb on the side of the building, back down the the balls, over to the tree...Mommy's laughing now, Maggie's running and laughing and looking oh so cute...so that would be our first official tantrum! Dear God, If you know what's good for me, please don't let there be a 2nd. Ha

No Manual? Really?

I was thinking today about all the jobs and schooling I've had. In each job or school, they give you instructions or training or books or tests. Yearly reviews...time clocks...dress codes...cheat sheets...refresher courses....So why on God's green earth when Aj and I pulled away from the hospital about 16 months ago with a LIFE in our backseat was there no test? no training? no manual? not even an instruction pamphlet? They were more worried that I HAD to be wheeled out in a wheel chair for safety reasons and that our car seat was installed correctly. The lady that checked the car seat tugged on the straps, wow that did alot! Anywho, parenting IS flying by the seat of your pants. The more I read and googled sometimes, the more frustrated I became. Oh and comparing your kid to someone else's, big no no. They are all so not the same. My daughter is 16 months old and I'm sure she isn't the only one who eats 6 princess noodles and could care less about food. She still takes bottles, they are nutrients for a non-food could-give-a-hoot baby. She still sleeps with a paci and blanket. Neither of which bug me. What's the crime in wanting to soothe? What's the crime in wanting her blanket to sleep with? I want a quilt and I'm 32 yrs old. She is so not ready to start potty training, I just KNOW she isn't. She's too little in my opinion. The Moms that have kids walking, talking and potty trained at a year must be saints or psychos...cuz I haven't a clue how they did it.
Seems insane to me. I have a sense or feeling about what Maggie needs and when. I KNOW I'm doing good, but what a hard job. It's not like you can quit your job cuz it's not going well, you are a MOM. This job never ends. No one could possibly prepare you for this, wow... so, someone already figured that part out and that's why they just let you drive off (probably laughing) with your baby and just wave goodbye...what could they possibly have told me? What could they possibly have said to make me GET IT? Like, "Hey good luck, it's the toughest most awesome job you'll ever have and you'll cry alot and love alot more?". No wonder there's no manual, I felt so happy to be a Mommy it wouldn't have mattered anyways! Like I'd have read it!

2 hrs of tv

1 16 month old on the go daughter,
2 on their way to be ours puppies,
1 husband...

am I nuts?
:)


anywho, 2 hrs of tv, if I walked on my treadmill for 2 hrs...anywho, going to sit and ENJOY my family and our tv schedule!

WHAT IF?

Aj and I, off the wall really, while stuffing our faces with some Chick Fil A...and sharing fries with Maggie (healthy snack)...brought up that we haven't made a will yet. What if something would happen? Oh, it just can't. Seriously, we want to raise Maggie. We are her parents. She needs us. We need her. I need her more than anything. God knows my prayers and he knows that if something were to happen what I'd want. No one will love her as much as I do. Only thing that comes close I'm sure is God's love for her. I want my sister to be Maggie's guardian if something were to happen to me and AJ. But again, I'm her Mom and I want to raise her and watch her graduate and get married and have kids and...and...and...you get me here. But, what if? Two little small words that could change everything. Two little small words that could completely destroy things as we know it. Two little small words that are really the worst two words in the whole wide world.. Two little small words 'What if'? We know people that have had what if's happen to them, we are not safe from what ifs...but I want to be.

Thankful with a Headache

I'm thankful for Maggie.
I'm thankful that Maggie is healthy.
I'm thankful for Grey's Anatomy.
I'm thankful Izzy was on the show last night.
I'm thankful for Diet Mnt Dew.
I'm thankful for being 'able' to stay home.
I'm thankful that Maggie is napping because I dont feel so good.

I'm not thankful that my nephew has the flu...ugh

Today, I'm just trying to put a positive spin on just about everything because I'm not feeling too positive...hmmm...maybe it's my headache?!
See, even my blog suffers. SnOrE!

never the right temperature

I used to love the cold, with Maggie now, um, not so much...
Takes longer to get ready to leave...check the weather, dress accordingly, bundle up...pack extra gloves and a hat (just in case)...nevermind thinking about how I'm dressed...today, thought I'd be warm, had on t-shirt, jeans and flip flops..step outside and it's cold...Maggie is dressed perfectly. I am not. But do I waste time going back in to put on a sweatshirt, socks and shoes? No. Keep moving. It's a feat just getting outta the house at the time you wanted to, so freeze. Turn the heat up in the car on your frozen tootbugs and drive. Not that bigga deal, right? I get warmed up eventually because Maggie is on the go and places now have their heat cranked sooooooo much I'd be sweating if I wore much more...I just can't win. Maybe a good start would be just putting the flip flops away for winter...hmmm...now there's a thought:) Seems no matter what I do, I'm the opposite temperature I'm supposed to be...think I'd be used to it by now, but I'm not. Thanks for listening to my rant...

date nights do help

Didn't think it was a big deal to MISS a few date nights, by missing, I'm saying like months since a date night...well, not true, much needed re-connect adult time with my hubby...
who'd a thunk, it worked:) We are in a better place already! Little drive to New Buffalo, change of scenery, long drive to just talk and sing and blab...dinner at The Stray Dog...couple adult beverages...laughing about Maggie, talking...fish taco binge...walking outside, holding hands...browsed the Gear store...found a sweatshirt I want for xmas...orange hoodie...walked by the little marina by the restaurant...laughed pretty hard about the last time we were at The Stray Dog... this memory will be better than the last thank goodness...drove home talking about pretty much whatever and singing country music...came home and got comfy in our pj's...watched some tv...didn't have a bedtime to worry about...wink wink nod nod...fell asleep...woke up...picked up Maggie about 10:00 this morning...as much fun as we had we missed her soooo much...she could have cared less...she was all about her MiMi this morning...came home and cooked out on the grill for lunch...Maggie played in the leaves again and in her little princess car...came in for naptime...i get to have alone computer time while watching The Bears lose...aj is outside doing boy stuff, cleaning up the backyard and the leaves, throwing away the rotting pumpkins...good weekend......
THIS is what it's all about:)

Kenj Binge

1. eats too much
2. loves Maggie
3. gets irritated easily by annoying people and sounds
4. isn't liking to wear shoes other than flip flops
5. has 2 pair of jeans
6. married Aj in a greenhouse in a black dress:)
7. texts too much
8. likes facebook
9. loves blogging
10. likes to browse the junk in the back at TJ MAXX
11. likes breakfast food for dinner
12. likes our family dinner time routine...
13. loves to watch Ellen.
14. wants to dance like Ellen.
15. really likes Ellen's hair and clothes
16. wonders if I like too many things about Ellen ? :)
17. is starting to like beer more
18. sleeps on my left side due to my carpal tunnel, would rather sleep on my right side
19. sleeps with the fan on, too quiet is bad!
20. loves when Maggie cuddles with me on the couch
21. doesn't like to PUT AWAY the laundry
22. the clothes I wear on a normal basis are in a laundry basket in my dining room because Aj sleeps during the day and I don't want to have to go in the room and wake him, I'm being considerate and lazy:)
23. has issues with a particular obvious body part and has considered surgery...hmmmm
24. has nice nails without doing anything to them
25. like my feet
26. hate the tattoo I have on my foot, but it hurt so bad, I'm chicken to get it covered up
27. regrets covering up my Tweety Tattoo, it's dumb and a stupid tweety tattoo but it was my 1st one and I was young and dumb, but i still regret it...oh well too late now.
28. misses Michael Jordan and watching the Bulls
29. misses C.A.R.T
30. always wanted to be 5'8"
31. was as tall as I am now, 5' 5 1/2" in 6th grade!
32. hated being the TALL one of my friends back then
33. likes my own handwriting
34. never finished college(but attended 4 of them)
35. bothers me sometimes, but then I never "just knew" what I wanted to "be" either...
36. had to study my ass off to pull off good grades
37. sucks at math
38. really really really likes to eat Doritoes!
39. could care less about sweets, chocolate, ice cream, candy...
40. is always the opposite temperature of everyone else
41. feels at home when I'm any where my mom is
42. loves having a sister as a best friend!
43. doesn't see the draw to liking Notre Dame
44. has touched Tim McGraw
45. has seen Tim in concert, I think 7 times?!
46. played "Fair" as a kid
47. misses Steven
48. vows to always take care of Maggie no matter what
49. thought I wanted to have 3 boys and be a 'young' mom
50. yea, um, that didn't happen :) HA
51. favorite color is Orange (pink and red being right up there though)
52. prays over Maggie every night
53. tells Aj to be safe and I love him every night when he leaves for work
54. doesn't enjoy cooking really
55. used to scrapbook
56. loves to read
57. can't pick my own good books though, I always read what Jenna tells me too:) otherwise, I'm disappointed...except I chose Harry Potter 1st and told her for like 5 years to read them!!!!!!
58. I don't wash my face before I go to bed...I've read that's bad...but I do it anyways
59. gets sick to my stomach feeling if I don't eat breakfast right when I get up
60. wish I could sing
61. has never been a go-getter
62. had a job for 4 hours once (me, steel toed boots and blood running down my hands didn't get along)
63. one year doing taxes, I finally beat Jenna, had like 22 jobs, seriously.
64. was a sucky waitress
65. likes these list thing like I'm doing
66. likes to proofread everything
67. should vaccuum and dust more
68. is a lazy pet owner
69. has shot a gun, pretty accurately
70. would NEVER join the military
71. wants the GLEE soundtrack
72. likes musicals
73. used to drink ALL THE TIME
74. cries easily
75. wears my heart on my sleeve and it's ok
76. I could eat pizza for every meal
77. mice make my skin crawl..ugh...ewwww
78. afraid of drowning, not necessarily of swimming
79. adjusts ALOT
80. drinks pop every day
81. wants one more kid...even though it's hard
82. had a miscarriage
83. has been to Vegas twice(one time I'd like to forget)
84. drove across the country with Jenna
85. has been to The Grand Canyon
86. Fort Bragg, CA was my favorite place on our little journey
87. could not have drove across the country with anyone else
88. I'd like someday to see Alaska, Italy and Ireland
89. needs to dance more like no one is watching
90. likes quotes
91. is a magazine junkie
92. People is my favorite though, I'm a sucker for celebrity gossip crap! RedBook close 2nd.
93. likes to get pedicures but not manicures
94. cannot see without my contacts or glasses
95. is not the outdoorsey type
96. likes driving
97. would move if her family did too, otherwise nope
98. thinks alot about Black Cat thick cheese pizza
99. goes to the chiropractor almost every day
100. have a hard time putting into words how much I love Maggie!

CooCoo Gene

Now I know what's wrong with me...I do need these pills I thought I could just do without.
I stopped taking my anti-depressants(lets call them makes-me-even-keel-not-on-a-roller-coaster pills) about 3 or 4 weeks ago....ohhhhhhh downward spiral...........I thought I'd be fine off of them, why the thought even came to me I'm not sure. I should have turned around over my shoulder and pulled out the ol' Ace line "Yes, Satan?"...
Either way, I'm back on them. I think my body really doesn't make enough of the chemical I need, and if I do, I surely don't make enough, I shouldn't have to feel soooooo lousy/bummed/down so often...When I had a little talk about all this with Aj, I realized my family is nuts, so apparently the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree...I won't mention any names to protect the innocent(or guilty) but I'll list a few things that have happened that makes me think there might be a CooCoo Gene:
Alcoholism BIG time, addictive personalities, drug abuse, food abuse, suicidal, having to stay on the 7th floor(whatever floor is for coocoo patients) of LaPorte Hospital for days to come out of a not so random freak out moment, shopping at Walmart buying a cart full of everything you don't need because you say you just haven't been sleeping enough (cart has like 20 DVD's, a kitchen sink, 22 packs of gum, clothes that aren't your size, clothes that aren't your kids' sizes, house plants...etc)...only to find out that person wasn't sleeping and has some chemical imbalance or something, this chemical imbalance thing travels down to another person too with crazy weird insomniatic episodes...
I'm sure it's not just my family, but I'll choose to stay on my little happy pill cuz well, I feel NORMAL on it. I don't have a good definition for normal, but it's how I want to feel. I want to feel happier more days than not. I want to feel like I'm in control of my emotions and won't slip into a major downward mess. I like feeling good, so gosh darn it, I'm admitting I have a CooCoo Gene, but I'm washing down a pill in the morning to make me a Happy Coo Coo! :)
*CHEERS*

Edit Button

It was obvious after Jenna showed me, but there's an edit button for posts:) Now, I'm probably going to obsessively go back and re-read all my posts and make sure they don't need editting, great.
Is there an edit button for life?? If there is, am I just missing it? Is it right in front of my face? Does Jenna need to show me? Wait, if there was an edit button for life and Jenna found it already, she sooooooo would have told me by now,right? If not, she not a good sister like I thought.
This could be deep, do I NEED an edit button? What would I edit? oh, wait, drunken stupors made many many many edit moments...wow, yes, alot of edit moments. Too many to mention or I'd want to admit. If you're reading this and were with me in some of these moments, you know what I'm talking about. Men, driving drunk, puking, crying...too much information? Glad I don't do that stuff anymore. Glad Aj made me see the light about not NEEDING to drink:) My bad and sad moments have taught me something as much as happy moments have...
I could edit out quite a lot but then I also wouldn't be the person I am sitting here right now.

Dear, Victoria Beckham...

I hay chu.
You're pretty and I'm stealing your pixie haircut.
I'm sure mine won't actually look as cute as yours because I out weigh you by 120 lbs AT LEAST.You have a nice face, you have a nice shaped chin and neck, ok then, bye bye now, I'm gonna go gag down a brussel sprout for lunch :) You heard me, A brussel sprout.
Who am I kidding, bring on the pizza rolls, which is technically all I have to eat for lunch because I need to go to the grocery store and my wonderful working husband's employer apparently didn't post/send/do checks yet cuz it ain't (I said ain't) in my bank account like it should be.
hmmmmm........I'm willing to bet Vicki B doesn't have THIS problem!

:)

Portable Elmo

Maggie is teething.
Maggie is crabby.
Maggie is adorable .
Maggie is lucky she's cute.
Maggie does NOT wanna sit still.
Maggie does not wanna stay in her stroller so Mommy can shop.
Maggie gets out of stroller after I can't take the whining anymore, there's the problem, I cave...
and she won't stay in one area or hold my hand...with my back bad, I cannot just follow her around and pick her up and move her and herd her like a lil sheep...
so back in the stoller, not having it, I have the one thing I went to Kohl's for, need to leave pronto, it's not her fault, but she's making me crazy. I get home and Jenna calls me and says is everything better now. It only got better when I put in the Elmo DVD again. Jenna reminds me of how she did her own thing when Will was this age, a portable DVD player! I remember, it went everywhere we did, in his lap, in his car seat, in the stroller, in the cart...she has one and is loaning it me so I can go places for longer than 45 mins with Maggie! Portable Elmo! Yeah!
GENIUS.

Momma Kenj

This blog is also hogface inspired...I never had nicknames growing up that stuck. Good thing too. I really never 'wanted' one because I love the name Kendra. Anywhos.....
My first one ever was KeKe, the Prgomelja kids couldn't say Kendra...that was a cute one but that stopped after they could say my name. Sometimes my aunt will still write KeKe to be cute, but it didn't stick. It went away as they grew up...bummer.
I had a few that people just gave me that were dumb and I didn't like...
One I remember, Goon, was from my junior high basketball coach cuz I think I missed a lay up or something and he was like What are you doing.......Goon? (I think he was mad but couldn't cuss)
At some point when Brian, Shana and Kiana lived with me(that's a whole nuther story in itself ha) they started calling me Kenjie(Kiana was like 7 or 8 and that's what she called me)...which eventually shortened up to Kenj...I think Kenj stuck cuz Will could say it. I LOVE the nickname Kenj, esp when it's preceeded by Aunt.
I have a feeling Kenj is sticking with me because Will is now 4 and could very easily say Aunt Kendra, but how boring is that? I like being called Aunt Kenj so please keep calling me that Will, thank you.
Maggie can't call me Kenj. Well unless it follows Momma, Momma Kenj....maybe my best nickname is yet to come because it'll come from Maggie! :) hmmmm...I wonder what it'll sound like? :) Basically, anything she calls me will be my favorite I'm a guessin!!

Elmo Saves the Day!

It's like a diary for me, here in blog world, but today I can't think of anything I want to write about...sooo here's our day today...
Maggie's internal clock didn't get set back an hour, so we got up an hour 'earlier' for two days...her gums are swolt bigga time with some teefers coming in...poor girl...Maggie had a meltdown crying throwing herself back in the front yard when I tried to put her hat back on her...only thing that would soothe her long enough for me to make her a bottle was Elmo. I've been replaced by Elmo. Elmo can soothe Maggie and I can't, well at least today he did. Most days she wants me to be her comfort. That'll suck when that goes away...maybe it won't...Either way, Elmo really calmed her down, she was smiling and dancing and acting normal. I felt guilty for a minute, then realized how bad can it be? It's semi-educational, more so than say SpongeBob...so what's it hurt? It makes her happy and gives me a moment to breathe...La La La La La La La La Elmo's World, Elmo loves his gold fish, his crayons too, that's Elmo's World...Thank You Elmo:)
(Oh god, I know the Elmo's World song but probably not the most current song on the radio, officially a Mom? :) aggggghhhhhhh)

Aj...100 little snippets

1. is a cop
2. doesn't know his dad
3. quit school in high school (but got his GED)
4. met Jesse James and recently Vince Vaughn
5. loves Notre Dame, like way more than a human should be allowed
6. loves football
7. loves to watch movies
8. collects dvd's
9. collects patches
10. wants a harley
11. has tattoos
12. is a marked man for christ
13. was an alter boy
14. was in the army and the marine corp
15. has one half sister
16. saved a little black kitten from a river
17. was married before me
18. is sort of messy
19. plays computer games
20. is very smart with computers and their workings(unlike me)
21. wishes he was taller (poor punk only reaches 5 foot 8, taller than me so who cares)
22. has beautiful blue eyes (and so does Maggie)
23. looked mean the first night i met him and I thought he was with the girl he was talking to(now I know it's his good friend Di)
24.does not like to go shopping unless it involves movies, music or games
25. was a dive instructor
26. loves the water, loves to swim(again, unlike his 'doesn't know how to' wife)
27. would live anywhere warm if I'd move
28. is always cold
29. really does love me
30. will eat just about anything I cook for him
31. makes a mean bbq sauce
32. is the griller, he cooks alot in the summer
33. likes to tinker with motorcycles (he'd love to retire with a little motorcycle shop)
34. is a Pepsi drinker. Loves it even more than chocolate.
35. used to drink alot (before me)
36. provided the strength I needed to stop drinking like a looney woman!
37. can type pretty fast with two fingers, faster than some 'real' typers
38. makes me proud
39. looks dang good and important in his uniform
40. his car is one of my favorite smells...leather, traces of him, sunkissed citrus air freshener...OMG
41. wears cowboy boots
42. owes a gazillion t-shirts, mostly Harley, mostly all Black
43. is romantic when he thinks about it :)
44. is a great Daddy
45. has a great laugh, when he really laughs.
46. has my sense of humor, which is such a good thing
47. has written me poems
48. would be bald if I'd "let" him
49. has very muscular calves
50. has very broad shoulders, one of my favorite features besides those blue eyes:)
51. those broad shoulders are God given having girls around (Mommy and Maggie need them)
52. has been given an award for something we cannot discuss with anyone else (hee hee)
53. likes to eat GREEN bananas, if they have little brown spots, they don't taste good to him (but one bonus for us, I like them with the little brown spots. He gets the first few in the bunch and I get the last few...it just works)
54. loves him some movie butter popcorn
55. likes to watch the History Channel
56. snores
57. favorite restaurant: Hacienda
58. has a terrible habit of biting his nails, he HATES it, and so do I.
59. hates it when I deny myself of anything
60. wants so badly to be a good Daddy to Maggie
61. has a best friend that's still in the military and I think he misses him more than he lets on
62. is a boob guy (tmi?)
63. is alot like my sister, which is probably the reason I married him. God help us all:)
64. still has a hard time understanding my close-knit family, but he's slowly getting US:)
65. would still be in the military if it weren't for some loser butthead leader dude
66. wouldn't have met me if he wouldn't have left the military and then his wife and moved back home
67. followed his heart for his dream job
68. knew he wanted to be a cop since he was a little boy
69. his ideal dream job would be North Carolina State Trooper
70. but since he's here in IN with me, he still would like to try at being an IN State Trooper...
71. was a volunteer fireman
72. learned to text finally with a qwerty keyboard (he also had to tell me what qwerty was)
73. gets his feelings hurt alot but no one would ever probably know
74. has the same face almost 100% of the time, even when joking...very hard for me sometimes
75. knows 89% of all Jeopardy question answers
76. it pisses me off :)
77. is a guy that cries when it matters, I like this about him.
78. does not like olives, green or black, no way.
79. is really smart
80. is not handy by nature, but he can read just about any book or manual and figure it out
81. was named after AJ Foyt
82. hates the name Anthony or Tony
83. barely ever calls me Kendra, when he does, it still sounds weird.
84. has military ingrained quirks that still are a part of him after all this time (i.e. folding his white shirts into the smallest little tight rectangles ish shapes)
85. uses military time, has his watch set on it and thinks it's easier than 'normal' time
86. has played the drums on a cd, like an actual recorded cd that you can purchase.
87. can sing. With a little help, he'd be a bad county karoake singer (that's what I told him cuz I'm jealous...really he's not half bad when he doesn't know I'm listening or when he's trying too hard)
88. likes outside in the garage-boy-stuff
89. can sit in one place for hours
90. fidgets alot though
91. steals my side of the bed, when i'm not in bed with him.
92. has read the whole Left Behind Series
93. all time favorite TV show: Cheers (needs it on dvd still too)
94. likes cops shows
95. likes anything dealing with gangs (movies, tv shows, books...)
96. has never been 'drunk' in front of me, this i'd still like to see, poor guy was always my DD
97. can cut a rug, has pretty good rhythm...but only when a few beers are in his system would he do this in public:)
98. is a guy I'd marry all over again, even with all our 'differences'!
99. believes in God
100. is a fast runner for a big dude!

a Stove can change a person...

The other night I put in a frozen pizza, ok enough comments from the peanut gallery, and it burned black in 15 mins...our stove is a very old beautiful gold stove from the 50's probably and everything we cook has to be turned up 5-10 degrees and cooked longer than any recipe recommends...you get used to the nuances...but I put the pizza in like I have done now probably hundreds of times since I moved into my house. So the fact that we've known that the stove is going to take a crap one day, it still shocks the hell outta ya when you open the door after your little 99 cent timer from Ikea goes off and you find a black pizza. Some pepperonis were salvageable, so aj says. Anywho, that leads me to having a huge 'discussion' with my hubby about money and buying a new stove...
I still feeling guilt for not working a job that pays me money. I knew the money for a new stove would have to come out of the "I'm working over-time and picking up extra jobs to save for a Harley fund"...I liked that Aj was being responsible and making extra money for something he's wanted for so long. It basically boiled down to, I realized my husband really is the provider and God gave him those extra jobs for a reason, yes, it's just a stove, but otherwise, we'd not be able to go get one. After I had my little fit about feeling bad about 'taking' his money for a stove and Aj just about wanting to ring my neck says "it's just money and you and Maggie are way more important than any Harley, it's not a big thing, we need a stove or anything else for that matter and it's my job to provide for my family and I'm ok with it, you should be too, just let it go and I'll take care of it...we made the decision to have you stay home with Maggie and you need to not feel guilt for that...you have the hardest job of all, let the guilt go..."
I let it go. It's like a HUGE weight was lifted off my chest...well, some of the weight was because I didn't eat any burnt too :)

The baby I never met...

For some reason today I'm thinking of my miscarriage with my 1st pregnancy. I haven't thought about it in soooooo long. Not worth the upsetting feelings I get, I guess. Maybe it's because Aj and I have been trying to give Maggie a sibling for about...hmmm....this will be month 5 of 'trying'...I know, it's God's plan not mine. I want Maggie to experience all the goods and bads of having a sibling. I want her to be a Big Sister like I am. I want her to get pissed at her kid sister or brother when they lose her favorite sweatshirt they took without asking to the beach of all places and lost it...or someone stole it or whatever. I want Maggie to have to drive him/her to school and roll her eyes at her sibling only taking 5 mins to get ready when she got up an hour early to get ready for school. I want her to know what it feels like down the road to be an aunt. Aj and I are not necessarily old, but we are no spring chickens. I'll be what mid 60's when Maggie is 30? Anything could happen and I want Maggie to have a sister's shoulder to cry on if something should happen to me or Aj. Aj is a cop, anything could happen at any moment. Anywho, my point, I had a feeling the baby we lost was a girl. I know it didn't work out for a reason. I know I'm not supposed to ask why. I know I'm supposed to forget it, but she'll always be with me in some way. I don't think it's something that just disappears. I'll always probably wonder what she would have been like...but on the other hand it makes me appreciate what God gave me in Maggie. Maggie is perfect. I love her sooo much. I think losing a baby makes you realize how important God is in the whole plan too. He gave me Maggie for keeping an open heart even after a really terrible time....I'm just really hoping that wasn't our only chance at having two kids, I hope God is up there smiling with a little smirk and knows something I don't know :)

It's a Blaggie, It's a Bloggie, It's 1 for you Maggie!

Dear Maggie,
You made me know what real love is. I thought I knew what love was until you came into my life. It's insane love. It's a wonderful feeling. You'll know what I mean someday. I also realized by having you how much my Mom (your Mimi) loves me. Love is a strong thing, and without you I don't think I'd be a whole person. I didn't even know what I was missing until you.
People told me before you were born that you'd change everything. Well you have. It's not a bad thing at all. I don't know now what I did without you. You make my heart wanna sing. You make me laugh for real. There are laughs at things that are funny and then there's how you make me laugh, it's on a whole nuther planet girl. You just do these things that are so YOU. You are quite sassy and serious too, which makes me laugh. When you're older, I'm not sure laughing at you when you are serious will be a good thing, but we'll cross that bridge together someday soon I'm sure. No matter what happens in your life or mine, always know that I love you. I'm proud to be your Mommy.
You are at a point right now in your life that you are trying so hard to talk. You say some words: Baw (Ball), Poppa, Maaameee (Mommy), Dadda, Wheeow (Will), MeeMee (Mimi), ah (on)...and today while I was drinking my Diet Mountain Dew you said plain as day "pop"! You are so smart and catch onto stuff so quickly. Dadda taught you "you're going to jail" in like 3 times, you put your hands on your head...too cute. You do "touchdown", which took all of like 5 minutes for you to do. You are such a joy and you make every day new, it would be awesome if it could be like this forever...but you'll grow up...ok crying now...and if we do our job right, you'll prosper and go your own way and be smart and successful and marry some boy that won't ever deserve you...so maybe if we do a bad job, you'll just stay with us forever...But I wouldn't tell anyone that because I'm pretty sure that wouldn't go over well...hmmm...that'll be our little secret:) Ha.
I love you , you little stink:)
Mommy

Patience and Anger...led to Fruit!

I had some things weighing heavily on my mind while I was out walking today, even though all I said to God was "Thank you for Fall, it's so nice out"...I don't like being a nag, so I just thanked him for what I saw...and some of what is bothering me doesn't even have to do with me, but I'm affected by it...Patience and Anger. I am not one that knows bible verses by heart or what book they're in, but I remember small little phrases somehow...So, I Googled "Slow to Speak" and found these...I would have opened my Bible, but it's in the room where Aj is asleep, so Google worked for me:)

Psalm 37: 7-9
Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for Him to act. Don't worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes. Stop being angry! Turn from your rage. Do not lose your temper- it only leads to harm. For the wicked will be destroyed, but those who trust in the Lord will possess the land.

Ephesians 4: 31-32
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamour and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

James 1: 19-20
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

After reading what I thought was weighing heavily with me because of others around me, well I get smacked in the face with my own 'Quick to Speak' moments especially when I get tired or am frustrated...it's easy to do to the ones I love because I know they'll forgive me and love me anyway, but that doesn't make it right. God wouldn't do that and neither should I. Easier said than done sometimes, but I am going to make a point to ask for help and try to do better. While blogging, the Fruit of the Spirit came to mind, normally not something I think about, but obviously it's in my head for a reason. I don't know where the Fruits of the Spirit are in the Bible and I'm not going to click over to Google it because I vaguely remember a song from going to vacation bible school when I was a kid. It goes a somethin like this, and a 1 and a 2: You gotta have Love, Joy, Peace, Patience and Kindness for this is the fruit of God's *clap* spirit...You gotta have Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self Control for this is the fruit of God's *clap* spirit...or something like that, it's been awhile! (I remembered when to clap though)...anywho...9 things I have to remember on a daily basis, that's surely not asking much!

LAUGH!

My favorite laugh B.M. (before Maggie) was Jenna's...
now Maggie's takes the cake!
It's so honest.
It's so fun.
It's so Her.
a LAUGH that could make me cry....now that's a good laugh! :)

New Tattoo

When getting my new tattoo , I thought, this is one of those moments I should have more of...I don't care what people think and I do it because I want to.

Southern Voice

His music makes me happy and these songs are brand new...

Now how do I tell Aj that ,later, I just wanna go drive around and be by myself and turn up the volume and roll down the windows and get lost in Tim?

Aj accepts my obsession, usually with a little rolling of the eyes, but he knows how far to push me when it comes to Tim.

Music is how feelings sound ...
and I've never been moved more by any other singer. I've never heard any other songs really that make my heart smile. It may sound creepy and weird to some, but If I could explain it, I would. I know it's not healthy, but I'm ok with it. It was I think 1996 or 1997 probably that I was, well, on the toilet and Jenna was playing music in her room getting ready, a guy was singing this song, and one of the higher notes he hit made me get goose bumps. I said "who the hell is that singing"? Jenna said "Tim McGraw". I said "Where has he been all my life'? Well no, I didn't say that, but I'm pretty sure I thunked it..because that was the start of me listening to Tim...and the start of me loving Country music. Before that day, I listened to pretty much rock and pop on the radio with no real connection to music.

So, Jenna and I are getting tattoos on Thursday...in honor of her 30th bday...like we did on my 30th bday...I got a star tattoo and so did she...She's getting a song verse and a music note...
My love of Tim's music is leaning me towards getting a music note too...which reminds me of Jenna since she started this madness! Maybe a little cowboy hat hanging on the music note? I can't tattoo a southern voice, so the best I can do is represent it....hmmmmm. It's so hard to decide, so until Thursday I'll be listening to Tim's new cd Southern Voice getting inspiration...
If I don't blog until after Thursday, it's because Aj let me go for a drive to listen to Tim and I haven't returned yet :) ha

wait wait wait, GOOD PARTY (bad restaurant)

Here's a little more positive spin on the Big 3-0 Bash...
*Maggie was awesome, she was so good, playing, following the bigger boys around, wanting to do what they were doing, she "let" people hold her and talk to her, she only cried once (the sucker stick and the plate thingy she was banging it on hit her in the eye), when I changed her in the bathroom she put her hand in the toilet water but hey, she was super cute and I just am so proud to be her Mommy. She has been good every day leading up to this party, she has just went along without saying a word(she talks, we just dont know what she's saying)...God probably knew I needed her to be a good little beebee:) She even got a Halloween present from her Great Grandpa and Dee, which I forgot to thank them for last night, but there were Little People in there that today she won't put down...good choice.
*Jenna was shocked, surprised, touched, put in her place and she cried...leading up to the party was hard for Jenna. She was thinking no one did anything for her bday...Man did we all have to lie alot. But we all made it, and we are alive. I forgave her for being a butt before it even happened, that's what sisters do.
*Stacey- traveled the farthest from Michigan, with the invite that had no directions in it, ha...she is Jenna's friend and just fits right in. She was missing her son though and decided not to stay the night at Jenna's, but no one can blaim her for that, I'd have done the same thing, if Maggie wasn't with me, I'd have drove home too:)
*Jenna got cards from alot of people, even out of town people, which was so awesome...Indy, KY, KS and CO...
*My cousin, who's dad has a restraining order against, who we love dearly...we love them all, they just don't play nice...he said he's not letting his parents get in the way anymore and missing out on family stuff, because he loves us and misses us. I didn't wanna say, well duh that's because we're the shit:) LOL...in all seriousness, I'm glad we pulled it off that they could all be there without a major incident...
*Even though Notre Dame was playing football and some people can't drag themselves away from the game or the tv, they still came to the party, I bet they called ahead to see if there was a tv! Even the tailgaters in the family came too, late, but they came, that's all that's important. We love you and your football addiction:)
*Jenna's church friends, well, you guys rock. You're not the typical 'church' people, you are damn cool. You love us even if we had beer and cussed:) HA HA HA. We won't call you church friends anymore, we'll just call you friends!
*Everyone has something that goes wrong in their life or they don't have alot of money or they have issues finding day care, hate their job, live with stress or health problems or whatever, but we saw you there with bells on and it didn't go un-noticed. We felt your love. :)
*Some people couldn't make the party because they were at a wedding, in Pennsylvania on business, at a band contest or what ever...we still love you too...but you missed a GOOD party!
*Will's little friend, Isaac, came in the party and says "Where's Will?"...He could have gave a crap about all the other people and the balloons and the cake and the tv and that's just as it should be, cuz Will has that effect on me too:)
*A friend's son, came in and said "Is this party for me?"...He was so serious and it was probably my favorite thing that happened in the beginning...kids are so innocent and clueless at times, but don't we all wanna walk into a room full of people, balloons, cake, tv with football on, pitchers of beer and say "Is this party for me?"

*Good Party. Good Friends. Good Family. GREAT SISTER.*

15% gratuity added

I don't even know where to start because I'm still so mad. They aren't, they are home not caring I'm sure. They...they are the owners, manager, and staff of Bruno's Pizza on Prairie Ave. Where to begin? Alright from the top...
8/20/09 I called and made a reservation for a party of 45-50 with Bruno's, I talked to some 'dude' that didn't seem to care I was calling, I even had to say "don't you want my name or a phone number or anything?"...so 2 days later, I called to see if he actually did his job and put me on the schedule...he answered all my questions when I called, but I was nervous. This time I got a girl, who was very nice, so it was obviously not Mama Bruno answering the phone...more on that later. I asked her my questions again and she assured me I was on the schedule. I asked her very specific questions:
1. Can we bring our own cake?
2. Can we bring our own decorations?
3. Do you have at least 4 high chairs because there will be kids coming?
4. Can each individual person or family buy their own dinner because on your website it states, you can pay $11.95 per head or order individual items off the menu...? I explained to her basically that I have no money to have a party, so I need to make sure each person can pay their own way!
All these questions were answered with "not a problem at all"...
UNTIL THE 45 PEOPLE ARE AT BRUNO'S ALL SITTING WAITING FOR JENNA, then it is a problem. The waitress, who didn't have a clue or look 21, says that the party has to be on one bill. I said No, I specifically asked when I made the reservation about this and was told it was ok. She said, all I can do is go and ask my manager. The manager comes up, with a smile, and says yeah I wish I knew who you talked to because we can't do that. She says it may be easier to have everyone pay $11.95 and get pizza, salad and a drink for everyone...um no, it wouldn't because again every was expecting to pay seperately...I said if not everyone in there brought cash, how do you expect to be paid?...I said, ok great I have $40, hope that covers 45 people's dinner...I said, I can't believe you cannot just seperate tickets. The best she could do was have each table be a seperate check. Mind you the major table sat 20 of the people probably. Yeah, thanks for the help, that's convenient. She pushed the $11.95 thing probably 4 times in our discussion too...HOW DOES THAT HELP?
Let's back up, when my mom and I got to Bruno's with the decorations and cake, we had to "waita 5a meenits"...so we wait, people are confused where are party is going to be seated, then some random girl walks by and says "they're upstairs"...which is thru a back hallway with leaks on the floor that have been covered up with pizza boxes...up stairs with NO light at the bottom to see where to step and there was a curved narrow step that could have killed someone...up creaky stairs into a room that looked ok to start with...just missing door handles, crusts of food on the floor probably from the previous nights partiers...and the bathroom had a closed up shower in it (just sayin)...so one question they did not ask me when I called is if everyone in our party could make it up narrow dark scary stairs...good thing we had no one in a wheelchair...the person who just had a knee replacement couldn't come, she would have never made it up the stairs, no joke...so with 8 minutes until Jenna is arriving...I'm crying...I'm so pissed off my vision was blurry...and when I get so mad, I cry...how embarrasing to number one not have the money to throw a party to begin with, but now the waitresses are telling people how the bills are going to be divided...I felt like such an ass, and it wasn't my fault. The other dumb waitress comes up to me, while I'm crying and says "Does everyone have their drinks?"...if I had it in me, I would have punched her in the face, but I just said "I don't know, you are the waitress." We had 2 waitresses for 45 people, yeah , that's not good. I ordered a pitcher of beer and I think after a half hour, about the time I'd forgotten I even ordered it, she comes at me with the pitcher and says "did you order a pitcher?"...I said "a half hour ago, thanks."
So Jenna comes in while I'm crying, and my aunt is telling me it'll all be ok, we'll all figure it out...I'm like oh, Jenna's here...I just back up so she can come into the room and everyone shouts "surprise"...Jenna gets this look on her face that was priceless, looks me dead in the eyes...then sees her best friend, Stacey, who drove from Michigan to be there, and Jenna starts to cry. Now, I cry cuz I'm happy seeing Jenna happy.
I believe everyone got fed somehow and I saw some smiles...I know the bill got paid...not sure exactly how that happened, I just threw in my $40 and said that's all I have...Ken, Bill and Delbert (all very nice guys) went down stairs to square up their table's bill and got hell from the cashier bitch for not just ordering on 3 seperate tickets????!! WHAT THE FUCK? YOU WOULDN'T LET US YOU DUMB OLD GREY HAIRED BITCH! To make matters worse, the customer lady behind them in the cashier's line I guess said something like "couldn't you guys have figured this out , this doesn't seem hard?"...Ken was FUMING...and I don't blaim him one bit, I would at this point probably went the fuck off, but I was upstairs...tending to Maggie and making sure my hubby got a piece of chocolate cake:)
Not until this morning, did I realize that $11.95 per person would have been WAY more than what we all paid last night on our 4 itemized not-so-individual bills...with sandwiches, pastas, garlic breads, pizzas, salad and alcohol...15% gratuity added...the bill was like $270...$11.95 for 45 people..well you do the math. If you've read my previous blogs, you and I both know I suck at math! So now, what do I do with this anger. I will never have a party at Bruno's again, I will never order a pizza from there again, and I'm still very mad...do I write them a letter? Would they even care? Probably not, cuz their business was booming despite their crappy attitudes, bad service and health department regulation breaking pizza boxes covering the leaks all over the floor...people come from all over to go to Bruno's I guess, domers come there after the games...so my little letter about our pathetic don't-gots-no-money ass won't do a damn thing.
AND IF ANYONE LEFT A TIP LAST NIGHT NOT KNOWING THE 15% NOT DESERVED-GRATUITY WAS ADDED IN OUR BILL, I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND PUNCH YOU...well no, I won't but I hope God will bless you with getting that money back somehow...ugh

Mom Speak...

"Maggie, your balls are loud"!!

"Honey if you push his paw or hand or whatever, Elmo will talk to you"

"Give me your tootbugs and I'll put on your piggies"

"Time to change your butt"



If you don't know what I'm saying, or don't understand, or don't laugh....well...you don't have a kid:)

Spaghetti again?

I don't like to cook and I'm ok with it...I really do not enjoy the act of cooking, once I'm started, I'm ok, it's almost fun, I get a mental break and I'm just by myself in the kitchen...creating...maybe that's how I should look at it.
It's not cooking, it's creating something, start to finish...
I don't like grocery shopping either. One of my friend's LOVES the grocery store, I don't get it.
Lately to come up with something to cook for dinner besides the normal every day spaghetti...I've taken to looking in a cookbook, see what sounds good, and I make it. Some have been great, some have been...how does Aj put it? "It's good but I'd rather not eat that again"!!
I have a pretty easy audience too, Aj is not really picky. He will eat just about anything I set in front of him. So why do I find myself at least every other day dreading the oh shit, what am I gonna make for dinner?! Today I was all excited because I was going to make chicken stroganoff in the crock pot, has to cook for at least 4 hrs, but here I sit blogging instead of cooking, it's almost 3:00, so dinner won't be done until when? Yeah, guess it'll be a later dinner or I'll make that tomorrow....what to do? Feels like a Denny's night, wait Denny's closed, Spaghetti it is!

I'm a thief

I LOVE reading others' blogs, I love reading books, I love watching TV and I love watching movies...BUT
here's the thing, I steal things from them...I want to make them a part of me. I want to use lines from movies, I think it's funny. I want to cry when I read a book because I'm there with them. I want to steal other's blog ideas cuz they have made me think of me somehow. It's not that I can't come up with something on my own necessarily but it sparks something in me...is it actually stealing? or just being inspired?
So if you are reading my blog, by chance, and you say hey wait, i've done that, well you probably have and I have tweaked it to be my own...don't be mad or angry with me, know you've touched my life in some little way:) and THAT should make you happy I'm a thief:)

home crap home

I was thinking of the movie Money Pit...then I look around my house and here's what I see that needs to be done. I'm not complaining. I have a great little house. These are just things I need to do, want to do, should have done already or need money to do:
Front porch leans and half the windows don't close unless you have serious strength to shut them, really needs paint.
Living room needs curtains.
Dining room curtains need a major bath.
Carpets need to be cleaned.
Kitchen, oh my...I need a new, bigger kitchen! I have a gold stove, still works but not right. Dishwasher is new but should have returned it when it was still under warrantee, Aj is trying to make it work...the fridge sounds like there's a monster in there trying to get out. The floor would be super nice If I fuckin' mopped it! Don't wanna. Along the lines of the don't wanna, I never wanna clean the bathrooms! Seriously the thought of it, well, lets just say I'm a sucky house cleaner when it comes to that, I put it off until I can't stand it anymore, or my sister says something along the lines of, Um, Kenj, disgusting! You don't have to worry I clean the duh obvious parts that would affect you if you stop by to use my john...it's the tub and floor you shouldn't eat off of! Ha, and if you were to do that anyways in a bathroom, you've got more problems than I have time to discuss right now:)
Windows throughout the house need updating, huge expense. Draft coming thru that moves the plastic that is still on from last winter, why take them down now? It's almost winter again!!
Back door doesn't shut if it's not locked...
Downstairs needs to be finished, ha. Now that's funny...and right now there's a tiny little lake that needs sopping up. Fabulous.
Home Crap Home!

Mom Speak

Periodically, I'm going to just put a few phrases in my blog...these are phrases that you would never have imagined in a million years you'd say. These sentences will never be in any English classes. If someone were just learning English, this would be a nightmare. My sister and I would love to write a book with these in it...With kids, comes Mom Speak, yes, that's what we're gonna call it.

Set down your monkey and get out of the fish bowl.

Don't use the banana to wipe your butt.

Stop jumping on the remote.

Enjoy!

work in progress

I feel like I'm such a different person than I was in say High School. I remember being really "jolly" for lack of a better term. I didn't feel anxious about much of anything. I remember not getting annoyed so easily. I remember feeling ok just being me. Why with age does this seem harder. I thought with age you become more of who you really are. I feel on most days that I'm content but there's something else nagging at me...what is it exactly? If I knew, I'd "fix" it. Is it always going to be there? Is it something I'm supposed to understand? If it's you God, I need a better painted picture or a kick in the head. I don't think I've heard the voice of God ever. I feel like I get a nudge to make a decision or a "gut instinct" to not do something...but do I hear an actual voice? No. Do people just say that cuz it's the right thing to say? Or do they actually "hear" a voice that tells them what to do or not do? I've read so many magazine articles where someone says "that was the day I changed my life" or "it was my ah ha moment"...maybe mine just isn't here yet...I could not feel complete and be a work in progress for the rest of my earthly life....now that is a thought too deep to ponder at the moment...we'll come back to that some other time (maybe). For now, I'm going to read my book and dive into someone else's world...cuz I can.

Still hungry? Eat more veggies and fruit.

So, I'm a fat ass.
I weigh more now than when I went to the hospital to have Maggie. Then I was huge, now I'm hugER!
Here's the thing, I don't like to exercise and I like to eat. Is that such a crime? Well yes, it is. Because I let how I look get to me. I'm not happy being a fatty fatty 2 by 4 can't fit thru the dressing room door...well not that bad ,YET, anyway! I have a back that hurts most days out of the week, I use it as an excuse to lay around, when in actuality, I'm sure only makes it worse. If I could get some of this fat off my gut, my back would thank me.
I need to be a healthy person to lead by example for Maggie, I need to lose 77 lbs. It's a number, I shouldn't focus on a number, but nothing else is seeming to work for me. I say, Oh I'll change a few little things and nothing happens. I start walking, take 2 days off and say what's the point?!No, the point is to not quit, just get out there the next day. Just make me a priority. I used having a baby as an excuse too. I can come up with some pretty good excuses to be fat. But then it makes me sad, why would I continue to be this way? I couldn't even tell you how many times I've not wanted to go somewhere because of the fear of running into someone and them seeing me like this. Two people, that I know of, have asked if I'm pregnant. First time , I was in shock. Second time, I came home and thought, well no shit, I do look pregnant. I have a huge f'in belly. Who else has a huge belly except pregnant woman?! Anywho, I'm supposed to weigh between 111 and 150. I haven't been 111 in my entire life, so obviously that isn't for me. But I was 140 in high school, playing 3 sports and eating whatever I wanted. So I'm a guessin' now I'd be pretty damn happy with 150! What a nice cute sounding number. I've never wanted to be a rail, I have hips, I have boobs, I would call myself thick...150 hot! I don't wanna shop in fat girl stores anymore, I don't wanna buy clothes that have 2 digits and If it happens to be two digits, those digits better start with a 1 instead of a 2 for the love of everything. So I read diet and exercise crap online yesterday, I learned alot, I need to change alot, I need to make my health a habit. After eating the recommeded calories for me to lose 2 lbs a week, if I'm still hungry, they said, Eat more veggies and fruit! They get paid the big bucks, cuz I would not have ever thought of this. I would have complained and ate a bowl full of doritoes and fell off the band wagon in about a week....This is not something that is apparently ingrained in me, but I would like it to be. I wanna move every day and eat so I don't feel guilt. This should be easy. I already have anxiety and feelings of loss...loss over food. That is sad! I'm not losing food, I can eat veggies and fruit, but why do I feel like part of me is grieving. It's a weird feeling. I don't think anyone skinny would understand. My feeling sexy , good about myself, not embarrased to be seen by someone from my past, losing this chin, not having someone think I'm pregnant, buying non fat person clothes, and god forbid not feeling tired and schlubby all the time...these are things I want, I don't wanna hold myself back anymore because I'm a fat ass! I'm worth it, only 77 lbs to go! All this pouring out of my fat soul has made me hungry...I think I'll go eat some peas, oh wait, I have no veggies in the house...maybe a banana, oh wait, they all went bad before I ate them...apparently I need to go to the store! Ugh.

Cop's Wife?!

On a daily basis, I forget I'm married to a cop. He works 10pm-6am, which is when I'm asleep. Maybe that is why it is not really something I think about, but then...last night a drunk bastard head butts him in his eye...I know it's not life threatening and it could be a lot worse, but how dare you? His eye is black and swollen shut! He is a cop. I could never do his job, never. I am not the run into the fight to break it up kind of girl, that is for sure. I would run the other way from some of the shit my hubby has to be right in the center of. Cops get a bad rap. The news shows only when cops fuck up. That's not fair, on a daily basis there are tons of GOOD cops, doing their job, keeping us safe, taking a beating or god forbid even getting killed trying to do all this!! Aj works in the dark with bad people while I am asleep...THANK GOD FOR HIM and all the others out there, without them, I really would hate to see how the world would be. I've heard so many people say "I hate cops"...how can you say that? Oh , right, when the cops "catch" you doing something wrong, then you hate THEM. Blaim yourself butthole. Do right things, cops leave you alone. duh. Seems pretty simple to me. Cops don't make the laws, they just try inforce them. If you break a law, it's the cops duty to tell you hey dumbass, stop it! You just wait for the day when you NEED a cop to help you, then I hope you realized you don't hate cops. My cop has to 'suit' up and load his gun before stepping out the door for work, what do you do? Light up your cig, turn on your tunes and drive to work without a care in the world? You're able to do that because of the things you don't see going on that cops put up with! Man, the longer I write, the more pissed I'm getting...anywho, moral of the story, I'm married to a cop, it scares the bejeeberz out of me, and if anyone so as looks at him in a way I don't like, well, you're lucky it's illegal for me to kill you! :) I'm proud of my husband. I think what he does is insane, but I support him 100% because he's known since he was a little bugger that this is what he wanted to do. He's a cop and my husband and I love him for both!

fluffer

I hold the record for fluffing the same load of laundry in the dryer 6 times. No shit. 6 times. I rule! It can't be good for the clothes, yet, I do it. I'm sorry threads, I'll try to be better. Please forgive me.

laundry with a side of guilt

Just because my dryer is now fixed, Does that mean I have to DO the laundry?
This seems like such a simple question or that maybe I am joking, but I thought about it at least 4 times today...is that bad? It was a real thought, for real!
I felt guilty, so I put in a load....why must there be guilt associated with laundry?
See, another perplexing thought...should dirty laundry really make me feel guilty?
Is it guilt that I'm feeling? Oh wait, I know what it is, I have no clean unders to wear tomorrow, and we can't have that!!

Hardest thing for me...

Being a Stay-at-Home Mom is really hard some days. People that haven't ever done it, don't judge. I used to think Stay-at-Home Mom's had it made...getting to do whatever they want, whenever they want. Now that I am home, that is so not the case. It's hard work. I'm the Mom 24-7. You're always ON. I look forward to nap time just to have some alone time. I look forward to bedtime so I can read without being interrupted. It sounds so petty, but...just sayin! I can't imagine if my baby had real issues, I guess God does give us what we can handle, but some days I don't 'handle' very well. This is the hardest job I've ever had. I have to be the decision maker, the chef, the reader, the bather, the jump outta bed in the middle of the night to a crying babyer...So many hats, and I'm not that kind of person. I'm not wired to wear alot of hats and I think that is why I get so frustrated so easily. I always liked jobs where I was behind-the-scenes. I like being told what to do, how to do it and when it needs to be done. It's just me. I would NEVER be a manager, a boss, a leader, a look at me I'm running for Mommy of the Year...I was once a supervisor of a small department and I hated every minute of it. I don't want to tell people what to do, I don't like confrontation and I really don't like people looking to me for the answers. I did a really good job at faking supervising. I had answers, they were good ones, but as soon as I knew the eyes were on me, my palms would start to sweat! I got good at hiding being nervous. I guess that's what I'm doing with being a Mom, I'm getting good at figuring it out...I hate attention too and OH BOY no one told me babies bring on alot of attention, from people you know and from strangers! I sometimes walk through the grocery store with my head a little down or really focused forward so STRANGERS won't wanna talk and TOUCH my baby and ask me a bunch of questions about her...why would they care anyway? I don't know them, I don't care about them, is that wrong? My baby and me are fine just the two of us doing our shopping...can I put a sticker on my shirt that says I don't talk and my baby hates you?? That would be too much wouldn't it? But you get what I mean, yes? Mommying is hard work, maybe not for everyone, but for me it's the hardest thing I've ever done because I am the boss! HMMM

proud big sister

I will never be my little sister, which is okay, because if we were the same, we probably wouldn't get along very well. We have two very different personalities that compliment each other very well. Enough so that I'd call her my best friend. We've fought to the point of tears, we've laughed to the point of crying and it's made us better people because of it. She likes sweets, I like salt. She is comfortable with being the center of attention and I'd rather gnaw my limbs off than be put on the spot! Probably both to a fault, she speaks her mind and I hold stuff in.
My mom told me that my first day of school, she thought "if anyone hurts her feelings I'll kill em"and I was all smiles and Mom wanted to mean-mug all the kids, like don't you even think about it...On my sister's first day of school, she thought "I hope she doesn't hurt anyone"...mom thought Jenna'd just march in there and take charge, but while walking her down the hall to her classroom the grip on my mom's hand got harder and harder as the classroom got nearer, it made my mom wanna cry...THAT IS HOW I SEE MY BABY SISTER and I've always known she's needed protecting...the rough wall is just a coping mechinism, I've always sorta found pride in the fact that I'm on the same side as her, I only had to climb over that wall once. :)

fat frustration

Seems like I can only be motivated for weeks at a time, I get mucho discouraged very easily it seems. I have changed quite a few things and I've lost .6 of a pound. How is that even possible? Maggie and I have been walking 30-40 mins a day...I've changed up eating doritoes for breakfast for the love of God...I eat vegetables and fruit... whole grain bread...I tend to snack on nuts and a piece of string cheese instead of um, hello, doritoes...I don't drink regular pop...Not that into sweets...I now drink soy milk because ever since I had Maggie I'm lactarded...I've started drinking ALOT more water...my portion sizes are smaller...trying to make better choices...and .6 of a pound, not even 1 pound...WHATEVER!
Why even try???? I wanna set a good example for Maggie before it's too late but come on!!!!
Our family-style Biggest Loser finale is December 1st and I thought I'd be way more along than this...plus we don't have the moolah to put into for the winner...the other participants better not be losing any weight...so it better be Aj or I or...hmmm...yes, that's it, I'll make Aj win ! :) What I can't seem to do, make my husband do...that's like a golden rule or something right? :)

I get annoyed easily it seems...

Even thought I love Maggie so much, there are days I get so irritated SO quickly.
I feel bad two seconds after it happens, but I still get annoyed...with her, with whatever mess, and then at myself! Mostly at myself for not just rolling with the punches. I mean come on, what do I really have to complain about?!
Jenna and Will came over and we made pancakes for breakfast, of course Maggie took one bite, then after that spits it out. She didn't get her eating habits from me or Aj, that is fo' sho'!
The kid is seriously NOT interested in food, she could pretty much care less if she ever sat in her high chair and got food. Don't get me wrong, she likes her bottle, but even then sometimes doesn't finish the whole thing...WTF. I can only control so much of what she does and I want her to eat food...she's not malnurished or under-weight, so I guess I should just realize she'll do what she wants, when she wants!
Will cracks me up, we all go to the library and were getting outta the car and he says " my hands smell stink!" (hall righty then).
Maggie likes going to the library, I don't really, but it's good for her to get out of the house...right?! ha Today she colored her first little page...all with a brown crayon. awwww. I saved it. Then she wanted to throw the crayons in the trash can because someone caffeinaholics had thrown like 12 cans away and the crayons were making a clinking sound as she tossed them in...too fun for Maggie, not for MomMom cuz I didn't want the mean lie-berry lady to yell at us:)
Then the 4 of us went to Chick Fil A, cuz daddy's got pain yo, and had lunch...
oh wait when we were leaving the library, Maggie stepped off the curb and fell over/sat down in a rain puddle, so we had to do a cosume change before we left to go to lunch. Seriously just this morning, I thought, I can take this change of clothes out of the diaper bag becuz Maggie hasn't had an accident or needed to change clothes in like 6 months...but thank God I forgot and didn't take them out, cuz go figure today she'd fall in a puddle and need a dry outfit! Ha Her pants, socks and shoes were soaked....so we went to chick fil a with dry outfit and no shoes on the tootbugs! I think hillbillies do that, but here I was stuffin my face and my kid was shoeless. :)
She kills me...she ate some fries, spit them out after she mooooshed them around in her mouth for awhile, then took a bottle. Sat on the table and "marcha marcha marcha" on Auntie Jenn in the chest over and over thinking it was funny. they were playing, I wasn't just letting her 'kick' her. Maggie is a little roughy though. She gets that from her Dada for sure. She'll be right next to him laughing when people get hurt. I'm sure I shouldn't think it's funny, but oh well! I'd rather her be tough, than a sap like me.

I worry too much

Maggie falls and hurts her head, I worry that she won't sleep good or that she could have a concussion....
Aj leaves for work and I worry I won't see him in the morning...
Worrying is for the birds dammit.
Perspective is such a good thing, I'm so blessed in so many ways and on a daily basis I wanna bitch about something...
Anywho, my funny ass sister started a blog today and I wanna be like her, so ...so I started one too.
I'm sucha friggin dork.
<3 peace out