CooCoo Gene

Now I know what's wrong with me...I do need these pills I thought I could just do without.
I stopped taking my anti-depressants(lets call them makes-me-even-keel-not-on-a-roller-coaster pills) about 3 or 4 weeks ago....ohhhhhhh downward spiral...........I thought I'd be fine off of them, why the thought even came to me I'm not sure. I should have turned around over my shoulder and pulled out the ol' Ace line "Yes, Satan?"...
Either way, I'm back on them. I think my body really doesn't make enough of the chemical I need, and if I do, I surely don't make enough, I shouldn't have to feel soooooo lousy/bummed/down so often...When I had a little talk about all this with Aj, I realized my family is nuts, so apparently the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree...I won't mention any names to protect the innocent(or guilty) but I'll list a few things that have happened that makes me think there might be a CooCoo Gene:
Alcoholism BIG time, addictive personalities, drug abuse, food abuse, suicidal, having to stay on the 7th floor(whatever floor is for coocoo patients) of LaPorte Hospital for days to come out of a not so random freak out moment, shopping at Walmart buying a cart full of everything you don't need because you say you just haven't been sleeping enough (cart has like 20 DVD's, a kitchen sink, 22 packs of gum, clothes that aren't your size, clothes that aren't your kids' sizes, house plants...etc)...only to find out that person wasn't sleeping and has some chemical imbalance or something, this chemical imbalance thing travels down to another person too with crazy weird insomniatic episodes...
I'm sure it's not just my family, but I'll choose to stay on my little happy pill cuz well, I feel NORMAL on it. I don't have a good definition for normal, but it's how I want to feel. I want to feel happier more days than not. I want to feel like I'm in control of my emotions and won't slip into a major downward mess. I like feeling good, so gosh darn it, I'm admitting I have a CooCoo Gene, but I'm washing down a pill in the morning to make me a Happy Coo Coo! :)
*CHEERS*