Sentences are the easy part of writing a book

I can't be the only one like me. Why does it have to be so hard for me? He still makes my heart pitter-patter, even after 50 years. Why would he choose her over me? I would love to drink every day, it's the hangovers I could do without. Why do things like a person clickclickclicking their fucking pen drive me crazy? There is blood on the hearth again. She lied to me since I was 12 years old. I can talk shit about my sister, but don't you dare. I am an adult and I have run away from home. Running away from home sounds like such a good idea, I wonder if my husband and kids would notice... I watch her leave every morning out my cracked and peeling front window. If I wasn't a Mom, I'd be a nobody. I have good intentions of getting involved with church or room-mothering in my daughter's class, but then I remember Ellen comes on at 4:00 and my DVR isn't working. The braless wonder next door is already dating and I think her husband's corpse is still cold. I've been writing in my head my whole entire life of 37 years, ok maybe 20 of those, but I'm not an author yet. My life is unsatisfying, want to know why? Percocet makes me happy to be in pain, but the pain is still there. My dad told me about six months after being released from prison that he'd write a book called "Change in My Pocket". If I would have said yes that day he asked me out, my life would be so different. If I had more money than brains, I'd buy myself a wife. If you say one more word, I may bash in your face. My mom has dementia and anger problems, my dad has heart disease and diabetes- I'm fucked. I have a friend that no one knows about. He decided not to wear a helmet that day. Disney can kiss my fat white ass. I want to believe he's in the CIA, he just has to be. I haven't heard from him in over 12 years. There had to have been a sound or a clue that made me think he was hiding something or someone. I do my best thinking on the shitter. I hope she is really nice because she sure is ugly. He left Granny, with 3 kids, for a fiery red head. I normally get a good read on people, whether good or bad, but her I get no read. She has to be fucking nuts. My mom told my dad, when I was about 10 years old, that he would not teach me or my sister to take over his landscape business because girls do not want to get dirt under their nails. The truck was in the backyard bent in half with corn stalks sticking out all over it. We called the bar and told him we wanted him to bring home a pizza, but he never came home. I have no talent. I think singing would be such an awesome release of feelings, belt out that shit. We only made it to one Friday by the Fountain. Is that a unicorn behind that dump truck? Mom, I see a unicorn by the dump truck. I saw a fairy and didn't tell anyone. I have a friend that no one knows about. There is no such thing as a Princess. Yes, there is. They just don't live here in Indiana.