I'm trying really hard to read the Bible every day. Which, I have never done. I don't know verses by heart, I don't know what scriptures are from what books, I don't know ALOT...but I do know God is Good!
It seems to help set my mind up for conquering the day. It seems to help me be more positive and thankful. Really puts things into perspective. Hello, I'm by no means perfect, but that last 3 days when I've had something weighing on my mind, I open the back to the index and try to find a general topic on what's bugging me...I look up the few scriptures it leads me to and I feel better. I don't know if I'm just hungry for learning more or if GOD is leading me, but either way it's good.
I'm tired of complaining about things that are not even big things to complain about. I'm tired of worrying about stuff I cannot control...I want to focus on joy, being thankful, and not letting other people's negative thoughts and actions get the best of me. I'm really starting to think I need HIM more than I ever thought, in everything I do. I never thought about it like this before. I want HIM to be a friend I confide in EVERY day. I want to find happiness in the mundane things because I know HE is with me. I want to tell him, even if he already knows, how much I need HIM and love HIM. Before it seemed like I prayed when I'd think I NEEDED something. I'd pray if i was ASKING for something. I think I need more 'practice' at praying but I'm asking him to help guide me...I now know I can pray because I'm thankful. I can pray because I just want to talk to him. I'm trying to say at least ONE prayer EVERY day...seems though, most days, when there's ONE...at least a FEW more follow eventually!
I used to get embarrassed if people asked me anything about God or my beliefs, now well, I don't want to sound mean, but I don't care if you ask, I'm proud of it. I don't know everything but I know I'm a believer. What is better than that? :) I don't want to be quiet about it anymore...I wouldn't ever say Praise God in front of people even if I felt I should or it would make me or someone else umcomfortable...but I'm going to try to come out of my comfort zone...baby steps...:)
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Maggie's Dance Moves
They are better than yours, don't hate. She's just talented and you're not.
She can bust it out! She is really 'singing' too dang it.
Right now she likes the Happy Birthday song cuz MiMi sings it to her and they go over it and over it and over it and over it and over it and over it...you get my point, but it's too cute. She dances fast to fast music, pumps her arms to thumpin music and even slows down to slower music. She can FEEL it. It's awesome.
I was thinking what if Maggie is a dancer...which made me think...what will she be when she grows up? Obviously she'll be able to do whatever she wants but will she have a natural god-given talent (unlike her MomMom) or will she be CEO of a company?
Will she be 'artsy fartsy'? I won't care as long as she is a good happy person, but it's weird thinking of Maggie into the future say as far as like Maggie as a 30 year old....weird...and exciting...hmmmmm...
anywho, nothing much to blog about today really, so I'll go eat my tuna melt and read my book now, which is book 11 of 12 of The Left Behind Series. Woot Woot.
She can bust it out! She is really 'singing' too dang it.
Right now she likes the Happy Birthday song cuz MiMi sings it to her and they go over it and over it and over it and over it and over it and over it...you get my point, but it's too cute. She dances fast to fast music, pumps her arms to thumpin music and even slows down to slower music. She can FEEL it. It's awesome.
I was thinking what if Maggie is a dancer...which made me think...what will she be when she grows up? Obviously she'll be able to do whatever she wants but will she have a natural god-given talent (unlike her MomMom) or will she be CEO of a company?
Will she be 'artsy fartsy'? I won't care as long as she is a good happy person, but it's weird thinking of Maggie into the future say as far as like Maggie as a 30 year old....weird...and exciting...hmmmmm...
anywho, nothing much to blog about today really, so I'll go eat my tuna melt and read my book now, which is book 11 of 12 of The Left Behind Series. Woot Woot.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Boundaries
I think some people have a lot.
Others don't have any. Then there is all the people in between.
I also think maybe you SHOULD know some boundaries without it being a discussion.
For example, if you tell me I'm fat, I'll punch you in the face. If you comment on certain other features of mine you know I hate (those of you who know what those are, well, you know), I'll probably kick you in the shin or stab you with a pencil in your eye. Well obviously I really won't be violent, but it'll hurt my feelings, I'll say nothing, and I'll cry about it later I'm sure. Aj will make me feel better when I cry cuz he loves me no matter what. He can always make me feel better.
If you're critical of Maggie, well, I hay chu. If you don't know where the line is with some people, just be respectful and polite. You can be funny and have a good time without wondering where lines you shouldn't be crossing are. A great example of this is, I think, Ellen. She is hilarious. She is respectful. She is funny, did I mention she is funny and she wouldn't hurt anyone's feelings...be like her. When you are dealing with me or my family, be like her. I can talk about my family, but you can't. Isn't that a golden rule of some sort? If I complain about something to you, it's not ammo for you to use later. I'm just confiding in you. I have a friend, who's husband is not my favorite person in the world, but would I ever say anything to either make it worse or hurt her feelings? No, I would not. I love her too much to say anything, it's just an understanding.
There is a certain someone who always makes inappropriate mean things to my sister on facebook, he must think it's funny, but I know just by reading it that if you think OH THAT'S WRONG...it's probably in some way hurting her feelings...so then a boundary should be discussed.
Then I don't like confrontation either, makes me very uncomfortable, so be careful how you approach me if for some reason you need to tell me where your boundaries are or if I've crossed them. Odds are, not patting myself on the back, I haven't crossed any lines with you because I've never been one to have alot of enemies or rag on people and say mean things. If I have, oh my gosh, I am truly sorry. I wouldn't have ever meant to hurt your feelings. I'm not a feeling hurter-er if I can help it! :)
I think I know my boundaries, if you say anything mean about my daughter, you're an idiot. Got it? :) If you push my buttons or want to argue about something like Glee not being the coolest show on right now, I'll probably ignore your dumb ass :)
All joking aside, you've got to know boundaries without them always being brought up or talked about. You just do.
I think I'm still learning about my husband's boundaries, but he gets hurt more easily than you'd think. He doesn't let on about much though. We have a few boundaries that took awhile to realize what they were exactly but a long story short, it's about how he deals with my family being close and how protective I am of them. He'd basically always just be with me and Maggie and never leave the house or entertain if it were up to him, but that is not how I am with my family. He's slowly adapting:)
I don't know if you'd call these boundaries or pet peeves, but aj cannot stand when people let their kids put their fingers in a birthday cake and then just serve it up to people like that's ok. He doesn't want cake that's been mutilated! ha
He hates, despises if someone would fart or burp all up in his grill, thinks it's not funny at all, thinks it's gross. My family comes from a long line of farters, but I can't blame him for thinking it's nasty cuz when it comes down to it, well, it is. He doesn't like crowds, end of story. If you ask him what's wrong and he says nothing, I've learned to only ask MAYBE 2 more times, in his own time, IF there is something wrong, he'll tell ME. It could be days later, he's given whatever it is time to process, then he'll share. Usually though, 9 times out of 10, he's just quiet and ok with it. I'm learning to accept this. It's hard sometimes. I think being quiet means something is wrong cuz my family is always talking and pretty loudly I might add:)
Well anyways, just a little boundary vent blog you dumb fat piece of crap with dimples on your thighs and ugly hair and annoying kids and you talk to much and your parents are dumb and I think your jokes are not funny and you try to hard and you're a bad driver and what? you're a democrat? you need Jesus. you shouldn't wear that cuz it makes you look like an oompah loompah and why are your ears that big and those teeth.....................just a few examples of things you keep to yourself:)
Others don't have any. Then there is all the people in between.
I also think maybe you SHOULD know some boundaries without it being a discussion.
For example, if you tell me I'm fat, I'll punch you in the face. If you comment on certain other features of mine you know I hate (those of you who know what those are, well, you know), I'll probably kick you in the shin or stab you with a pencil in your eye. Well obviously I really won't be violent, but it'll hurt my feelings, I'll say nothing, and I'll cry about it later I'm sure. Aj will make me feel better when I cry cuz he loves me no matter what. He can always make me feel better.
If you're critical of Maggie, well, I hay chu. If you don't know where the line is with some people, just be respectful and polite. You can be funny and have a good time without wondering where lines you shouldn't be crossing are. A great example of this is, I think, Ellen. She is hilarious. She is respectful. She is funny, did I mention she is funny and she wouldn't hurt anyone's feelings...be like her. When you are dealing with me or my family, be like her. I can talk about my family, but you can't. Isn't that a golden rule of some sort? If I complain about something to you, it's not ammo for you to use later. I'm just confiding in you. I have a friend, who's husband is not my favorite person in the world, but would I ever say anything to either make it worse or hurt her feelings? No, I would not. I love her too much to say anything, it's just an understanding.
There is a certain someone who always makes inappropriate mean things to my sister on facebook, he must think it's funny, but I know just by reading it that if you think OH THAT'S WRONG...it's probably in some way hurting her feelings...so then a boundary should be discussed.
Then I don't like confrontation either, makes me very uncomfortable, so be careful how you approach me if for some reason you need to tell me where your boundaries are or if I've crossed them. Odds are, not patting myself on the back, I haven't crossed any lines with you because I've never been one to have alot of enemies or rag on people and say mean things. If I have, oh my gosh, I am truly sorry. I wouldn't have ever meant to hurt your feelings. I'm not a feeling hurter-er if I can help it! :)
I think I know my boundaries, if you say anything mean about my daughter, you're an idiot. Got it? :) If you push my buttons or want to argue about something like Glee not being the coolest show on right now, I'll probably ignore your dumb ass :)
All joking aside, you've got to know boundaries without them always being brought up or talked about. You just do.
I think I'm still learning about my husband's boundaries, but he gets hurt more easily than you'd think. He doesn't let on about much though. We have a few boundaries that took awhile to realize what they were exactly but a long story short, it's about how he deals with my family being close and how protective I am of them. He'd basically always just be with me and Maggie and never leave the house or entertain if it were up to him, but that is not how I am with my family. He's slowly adapting:)
I don't know if you'd call these boundaries or pet peeves, but aj cannot stand when people let their kids put their fingers in a birthday cake and then just serve it up to people like that's ok. He doesn't want cake that's been mutilated! ha
He hates, despises if someone would fart or burp all up in his grill, thinks it's not funny at all, thinks it's gross. My family comes from a long line of farters, but I can't blame him for thinking it's nasty cuz when it comes down to it, well, it is. He doesn't like crowds, end of story. If you ask him what's wrong and he says nothing, I've learned to only ask MAYBE 2 more times, in his own time, IF there is something wrong, he'll tell ME. It could be days later, he's given whatever it is time to process, then he'll share. Usually though, 9 times out of 10, he's just quiet and ok with it. I'm learning to accept this. It's hard sometimes. I think being quiet means something is wrong cuz my family is always talking and pretty loudly I might add:)
Well anyways, just a little boundary vent blog you dumb fat piece of crap with dimples on your thighs and ugly hair and annoying kids and you talk to much and your parents are dumb and I think your jokes are not funny and you try to hard and you're a bad driver and what? you're a democrat? you need Jesus. you shouldn't wear that cuz it makes you look like an oompah loompah and why are your ears that big and those teeth.....................just a few examples of things you keep to yourself:)
Friday, January 22, 2010
To Maggie
Maggie,
You know what? You crack me up. So many times during the day you 'sing' out loud and make this face...I wanna just pinch your face off.
Lately you will watch any of the Shrek movies pretty much 5 times a day...you go about your business while it's on sometimes. Then there are times you say "shrek on" and sit through the whole thing with serious game-face! You say Shrek, with a lot of emphasis on the k, it's so cute. You laugh at parts that are funny, I wonder how you actually know it's funny, but it is. You laugh hard too. You seem to like the louder scarier parts cuz you yell with a smile on your face.
You also like "Broot" (Bruce aka Finding Nemo)...you like the big scary shark. hmmmm
Shrek, an ogre. Bruce, a big toothy shark. You're this little midgit princess all in pink liking these big 'scary' lookin beasts...funny.
You are so serious when you want to have a conversation with me too, you gesture with your hands and tell me 'all about it'...most of which is jibberish and I have no clue what you're saying but you are going to tell me how it is. You even move my face to look right at you if god forbid for a second I look away. You sometimes just say all the words you do know with jibberjabber in between. It's so funny. It goes a little like this: Poppa andldlfk Mimi aknfldkl Momma no alkfl dadda eidkl hat japanesydkld will cup alkslk on ksdd cheese shrek sssshhhh broot one one lfkjsoi shoe happy!!! I love you.
You are soooo particular too. Maybe even a little cooky bratty sometimes, but hey we all got our things. You have to have your blanket (bankt)just so. You adjust your clothes like I do, god help us. You are particular about the sizes and colors of things it seems. Like if I give you a half of a chip one day, the next day I might give you a 1/4 and you say "noooo" and shove my hand away like 'how dare you woman'!
You and eating do not get along...it's out biggest struggle. You like only a few things. You eat very very very little of even what you do like. You're still getting bottles with oatmeal in them before nap and bed and when you get up in the morning...Only way I feel like you are getting nutrients...ugh. You could care less. How do I make you eat? How do I force you to swallow? I guess you'll eat and care on your own time like you have done everything else really...but I never imagined at 18 mos you wouldn't care about food. Lord knows you didn't get your eating habits from me or Dadda...hmmm...anyways, just a frustrating thing we deal with daily, but you are the bomb diggity regardless chick!
I love you so much and every day is such a gift. I'm so glad I can be home with you.
I can't imagine dropping you off at day care and leaving to go to work...that thought makes me wanna cry...I'd miss out on so much of just daily YOU. I love seeing every day you doing something different or learning something new...it's fun and exciting.
Tonight was Grampy's bday party at hacienda and you were trying so hard to sing Happy Bday song with all of us and you clapped so hard at the end like you did such a good job, you just melt my heart. You say "happy" very clearly...but the rest not so much, but it's so awesome to see your little wheels spinning when you TRY so hard.
I love you. It never seems enough to just say I love you but I do, so much. I don't know what I'd do without you stinker face! Love, MomMom (sometimes now you just say momma though...I wonder what you'll actually call me)
You know what? You crack me up. So many times during the day you 'sing' out loud and make this face...I wanna just pinch your face off.
Lately you will watch any of the Shrek movies pretty much 5 times a day...you go about your business while it's on sometimes. Then there are times you say "shrek on" and sit through the whole thing with serious game-face! You say Shrek, with a lot of emphasis on the k, it's so cute. You laugh at parts that are funny, I wonder how you actually know it's funny, but it is. You laugh hard too. You seem to like the louder scarier parts cuz you yell with a smile on your face.
You also like "Broot" (Bruce aka Finding Nemo)...you like the big scary shark. hmmmm
Shrek, an ogre. Bruce, a big toothy shark. You're this little midgit princess all in pink liking these big 'scary' lookin beasts...funny.
You are so serious when you want to have a conversation with me too, you gesture with your hands and tell me 'all about it'...most of which is jibberish and I have no clue what you're saying but you are going to tell me how it is. You even move my face to look right at you if god forbid for a second I look away. You sometimes just say all the words you do know with jibberjabber in between. It's so funny. It goes a little like this: Poppa andldlfk Mimi aknfldkl Momma no alkfl dadda eidkl hat japanesydkld will cup alkslk on ksdd cheese shrek sssshhhh broot one one lfkjsoi shoe happy!!! I love you.
You are soooo particular too. Maybe even a little cooky bratty sometimes, but hey we all got our things. You have to have your blanket (bankt)just so. You adjust your clothes like I do, god help us. You are particular about the sizes and colors of things it seems. Like if I give you a half of a chip one day, the next day I might give you a 1/4 and you say "noooo" and shove my hand away like 'how dare you woman'!
You and eating do not get along...it's out biggest struggle. You like only a few things. You eat very very very little of even what you do like. You're still getting bottles with oatmeal in them before nap and bed and when you get up in the morning...Only way I feel like you are getting nutrients...ugh. You could care less. How do I make you eat? How do I force you to swallow? I guess you'll eat and care on your own time like you have done everything else really...but I never imagined at 18 mos you wouldn't care about food. Lord knows you didn't get your eating habits from me or Dadda...hmmm...anyways, just a frustrating thing we deal with daily, but you are the bomb diggity regardless chick!
I love you so much and every day is such a gift. I'm so glad I can be home with you.
I can't imagine dropping you off at day care and leaving to go to work...that thought makes me wanna cry...I'd miss out on so much of just daily YOU. I love seeing every day you doing something different or learning something new...it's fun and exciting.
Tonight was Grampy's bday party at hacienda and you were trying so hard to sing Happy Bday song with all of us and you clapped so hard at the end like you did such a good job, you just melt my heart. You say "happy" very clearly...but the rest not so much, but it's so awesome to see your little wheels spinning when you TRY so hard.
I love you. It never seems enough to just say I love you but I do, so much. I don't know what I'd do without you stinker face! Love, MomMom (sometimes now you just say momma though...I wonder what you'll actually call me)
Thursday, January 21, 2010
glee
How can a show make me feel so much joy?
It's just a tv show.
BUT
two hottie guys, one of which is so dang cute I just can't stand it...a Cheerleading coach I love to HATE...drama...comedy...love...songs...dancing...
I love Glee.
It makes me sing and I can't sing.
:)
Poor Maggie, I really belt it out in the car when I have the soundtrack blaring.
Maggie DOES like dancing to the songs though, I see her joy too!!
Did I mention I love Glee?
It's just a tv show.
BUT
two hottie guys, one of which is so dang cute I just can't stand it...a Cheerleading coach I love to HATE...drama...comedy...love...songs...dancing...
I love Glee.
It makes me sing and I can't sing.
:)
Poor Maggie, I really belt it out in the car when I have the soundtrack blaring.
Maggie DOES like dancing to the songs though, I see her joy too!!
Did I mention I love Glee?
Szuba Funeral
What a long, sad, wonderful mixed up day. Aj and I left about 8:15am, needed to run the squad car thru a car wash and get to the funeral early for police staging. This sounds simple, right? Well there are 2 other cops getting their cars cleaned at the same car wash, one of which is leaving for New Carlisle to escort the family to the funeral. Ugh. We get to Bethel College and park literally bumper to bumper in the lot with all the police cars, packed in like sardines because there are so many cars. This is a good thing, but whoa. All officers and their families are sent into a gym to sign in, get coffee, mingle, cry, show their respects to one another etc. They have to have some organization and I don't know how they do it. We all have to line up to make our way over to the funeral for the casket walk by...Mishawaka Officers first, Honor Guard, K9 officers without their dogs, South Bend, St. Joe Co, Indiana Troopers, Notre Dame, all out of town officers...there is a lot of officers, um alot. Aj saw officers he hasn't seen since he was at The Academy. They all KNOW each other and haven't seen each other in a couple years!
We all have to walk over to the funeral at 11:00, carnations attached facing down ward under all officers' badges. It takes about an hour for all of us to walk through the officers outside who have brought their dogs. Alot brought their dogs, gulp. We all filed in past the casket and took our seats. The K9's filed by the caskets too, that was the first time I lost it for whatever reason, but the fact that Ricky(Szuba's K9 partner) had a pallbearer just got me. I counted the dogs walking by us, there was 139 and I'm sure I missed a few. Wow.
Catholic Service was long but very nice. Two sad songs were sung. Heaven Needed a Hero and Amazing Grace: A Police Tribute. :( Sad. Szuba's son, got up and talked about his dad. Gulp, tears :( Congressman Joe Donnelly presented the flag that flew over the Capitol to Mrs. Szuba. I think it was Szuba's chief, he got up and talked about both Jim and Ricky. He said in heaven, Ricky doesn't have to ride around in the back seat anymore, they can be side by side. Aww. The family not only lost Jim, they lost their family pet...never thought of it like that. They are going home to a really quiet house without their dog there.
After the funeral, we all had to file out and surround the hurse(sp?). Officers stood and saluted when the family followed the casket, dogs were all lined up...we were all dismissed to go to our cars to start the procession to the cemetery...K9's lined the entrance of the cemetery, bagpipes were playing, saluting, 21 gun salute, taps...so sad. All of us had to walk by the casket again, officers had placed their carnation on top of it, there was a huge mound of flowers...I had tears in my eyes and made the mistake of meeting the eyes of Mrs. Szuba...she was sobbing and shaking...need I say more? :(
I don't know what it must feel like to mourn with all this around you. It's such an awesome sight to see all the officer and K9s but YOUR husband is the one that isn't here anymore. You won't see him until you are called to heaven...How could she stand it? Even at home from the time he died, to the time of his burial, they had a cop in their driveway to show respect and also protect the family...I don't think there'd be a moment I could NOT cry....
It was a long day,I couldn't feel my toes because it was very cold out at the cemetery...but no room for me to complain, I am not a grieving widow. UGH. My kid didn't lose their dad. I just can't explain how I felt. I felt a connection to her and I don't even really know her...One of the things said during the funeral is that 'all officers spouses share an unspoken fear'...It's true. It's there. I have it.
We all have to walk over to the funeral at 11:00, carnations attached facing down ward under all officers' badges. It takes about an hour for all of us to walk through the officers outside who have brought their dogs. Alot brought their dogs, gulp. We all filed in past the casket and took our seats. The K9's filed by the caskets too, that was the first time I lost it for whatever reason, but the fact that Ricky(Szuba's K9 partner) had a pallbearer just got me. I counted the dogs walking by us, there was 139 and I'm sure I missed a few. Wow.
Catholic Service was long but very nice. Two sad songs were sung. Heaven Needed a Hero and Amazing Grace: A Police Tribute. :( Sad. Szuba's son, got up and talked about his dad. Gulp, tears :( Congressman Joe Donnelly presented the flag that flew over the Capitol to Mrs. Szuba. I think it was Szuba's chief, he got up and talked about both Jim and Ricky. He said in heaven, Ricky doesn't have to ride around in the back seat anymore, they can be side by side. Aww. The family not only lost Jim, they lost their family pet...never thought of it like that. They are going home to a really quiet house without their dog there.
After the funeral, we all had to file out and surround the hurse(sp?). Officers stood and saluted when the family followed the casket, dogs were all lined up...we were all dismissed to go to our cars to start the procession to the cemetery...K9's lined the entrance of the cemetery, bagpipes were playing, saluting, 21 gun salute, taps...so sad. All of us had to walk by the casket again, officers had placed their carnation on top of it, there was a huge mound of flowers...I had tears in my eyes and made the mistake of meeting the eyes of Mrs. Szuba...she was sobbing and shaking...need I say more? :(
I don't know what it must feel like to mourn with all this around you. It's such an awesome sight to see all the officer and K9s but YOUR husband is the one that isn't here anymore. You won't see him until you are called to heaven...How could she stand it? Even at home from the time he died, to the time of his burial, they had a cop in their driveway to show respect and also protect the family...I don't think there'd be a moment I could NOT cry....
It was a long day,I couldn't feel my toes because it was very cold out at the cemetery...but no room for me to complain, I am not a grieving widow. UGH. My kid didn't lose their dad. I just can't explain how I felt. I felt a connection to her and I don't even really know her...One of the things said during the funeral is that 'all officers spouses share an unspoken fear'...It's true. It's there. I have it.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
If one falls, we all hurt
The 1st Procession of Lights was awesome despite the circumstances. Such a show of loyalty and love for a fallen officer....If one falls, we all hurt.
It's obvious when you see the brotherhood all together. My 1st one was April 2007 for Corporal Nick Samuel Polizzotto. We were new to the police officer "family"...
Last night was my second Procession of Lights. This time, I know more people around us. These are my husbands co-workers, partners, dispatchers and friends. He is very close to them. He backs them up on calls, they back him up on calls, their K9's search and help him, they meet up for coffee, they go to each other's houses for get-togethers, he exchanges Christmas gifts with them, he knows their families, they call out of the blue to see how he is, they talk about work sometimes and they 'play' together too...Corporal James J. Szuba was one of Aj's friends, he had coffee with him 2 weeks ago...this one hit a little closer to home. Sad, plus Officer K9 Ricky was killed in the accident too. Their dogs are their partners. The procession was 6 miles long, which they say is about 800 vehicles! What a sight to see. We were a little over half way back in the line. As far as I could see ahead and behind us was all lights. The streets were lined with people, eerily quiet, holding candles, flags and signs. There were numerous people with their dogs out too. Jim lived in New Carlisle, where I grew up as a kid, I knew with such a small community it would be crazy to see the turn out....but I lost it. I cried hard through New Carlisle. I don't want to be the family in the lead car or in a procession of someone close to us, but it could happen at any moment. Such an overwhelming feeling of sadness, pride and love...mixture of emotions for me.
There are officers falling at an alarming rate...this isn't uncommon unfortunately...this year there have already been 10 Line of Duty deaths. TEN. It is only January 14th! Ten officers in 14 days!
ugh.
It's obvious when you see the brotherhood all together. My 1st one was April 2007 for Corporal Nick Samuel Polizzotto. We were new to the police officer "family"...
Last night was my second Procession of Lights. This time, I know more people around us. These are my husbands co-workers, partners, dispatchers and friends. He is very close to them. He backs them up on calls, they back him up on calls, their K9's search and help him, they meet up for coffee, they go to each other's houses for get-togethers, he exchanges Christmas gifts with them, he knows their families, they call out of the blue to see how he is, they talk about work sometimes and they 'play' together too...Corporal James J. Szuba was one of Aj's friends, he had coffee with him 2 weeks ago...this one hit a little closer to home. Sad, plus Officer K9 Ricky was killed in the accident too. Their dogs are their partners. The procession was 6 miles long, which they say is about 800 vehicles! What a sight to see. We were a little over half way back in the line. As far as I could see ahead and behind us was all lights. The streets were lined with people, eerily quiet, holding candles, flags and signs. There were numerous people with their dogs out too. Jim lived in New Carlisle, where I grew up as a kid, I knew with such a small community it would be crazy to see the turn out....but I lost it. I cried hard through New Carlisle. I don't want to be the family in the lead car or in a procession of someone close to us, but it could happen at any moment. Such an overwhelming feeling of sadness, pride and love...mixture of emotions for me.
There are officers falling at an alarming rate...this isn't uncommon unfortunately...this year there have already been 10 Line of Duty deaths. TEN. It is only January 14th! Ten officers in 14 days!
ugh.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
2010 is bright, put on your shades!
Well, 2010 rolled in with a bang...ha ha ha, no for real dough!
Aj and I were just at home, watched All About Aniston movies on Lifetime, Maggie played, she went to bed, we watched Terminator Salvation, paused to watch the Ball Drop, hello can't miss that, and hopefully made a new year baby...hmmmmm....too much information?
Anywho, bye bye 2009, it's been fun, sad, happy, hard, scary, boring, exciting...I guess like life is supposed to be...but for real, 2010 better be nicer to my sister or I'm gonna kick it's ass.
I've decided to not make resolutions this year, wait or last year, ha, cuz i never do them anyways. I'm not a list maker do-er er apparently. I really only thought I want to watch more Glee, have Friends come back, and have a baby or at least get pregnant in 2010 for the love of pete. I'd like to seriously have another midgit in 2010 and of course I always pray Maggie is safe and healthy no matter if it's for the new year or just every night before she falls asleep..God and I have a lil talk:)
2010 so far...has been cold, snowy, and laundry filled...but at least we got new sunglasses to wear around IN the house yo!
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