Seriously all you flat chested bizznatches are so lucky especially in the hot and humid summer.
The absolutely worst part of double D's is the boob sweat.
Ew. Gross.
When I get ready, I put socks under my boobs in my bra to sock up the sweat, save the bra "a little" before I go outside. Many times I forget and they stay in all day. There was a moment about 5 years ago I wanted to invent/put a patent on Boobie Socks. Then I was at Lane Bryantand they already have a like microfiber shit of an idea but same concept, buttya the MAN or flatboober that invented this doesnt know microfiber doesnt sop up no sweat, and actually makes me sweat more.
Maybe I'll call Victoria and let her in on my secret: Boobie Socks.
Seriously, It Works people!
Monday, June 10, 2013
Friday, June 7, 2013
Sentences are the easy part of writing a book
I can't be the only one like me.
Why does it have to be so hard for me?
He still makes my heart pitter-patter, even after 50 years.
Why would he choose her over me?
I would love to drink every day, it's the hangovers I could do without.
Why do things like a person clickclickclicking their fucking pen drive me crazy?
There is blood on the hearth again.
She lied to me since I was 12 years old.
I can talk shit about my sister, but don't you dare.
I am an adult and I have run away from home.
Running away from home sounds like such a good idea, I wonder if my husband and kids would notice...
I watch her leave every morning out my cracked and peeling front window.
If I wasn't a Mom, I'd be a nobody.
I have good intentions of getting involved with church or room-mothering in my daughter's class, but then I remember Ellen comes on at 4:00 and my DVR isn't working.
The braless wonder next door is already dating and I think her husband's corpse is still cold.
I've been writing in my head my whole entire life of 37 years, ok maybe 20 of those, but I'm not an author yet.
My life is unsatisfying, want to know why?
Percocet makes me happy to be in pain, but the pain is still there.
My dad told me about six months after being released from prison that he'd write a book called "Change in My Pocket".
If I would have said yes that day he asked me out, my life would be so different.
If I had more money than brains, I'd buy myself a wife.
If you say one more word, I may bash in your face.
My mom has dementia and anger problems, my dad has heart disease and diabetes- I'm fucked.
I have a friend that no one knows about.
He decided not to wear a helmet that day.
Disney can kiss my fat white ass.
I want to believe he's in the CIA, he just has to be. I haven't heard from him in over 12 years.
There had to have been a sound or a clue that made me think he was hiding something or someone.
I do my best thinking on the shitter.
I hope she is really nice because she sure is ugly.
He left Granny, with 3 kids, for a fiery red head.
I normally get a good read on people, whether good or bad, but her I get no read. She has to be fucking nuts.
My mom told my dad, when I was about 10 years old, that he would not teach me or my sister to take over his landscape business because girls do not want to get dirt under their nails.
The truck was in the backyard bent in half with corn stalks sticking out all over it.
We called the bar and told him we wanted him to bring home a pizza, but he never came home.
I have no talent.
I think singing would be such an awesome release of feelings, belt out that shit.
We only made it to one Friday by the Fountain.
Is that a unicorn behind that dump truck?
Mom, I see a unicorn by the dump truck.
I saw a fairy and didn't tell anyone.
I have a friend that no one knows about.
There is no such thing as a Princess. Yes, there is. They just don't live here in Indiana.
fat food
Do you think I have an issue/problem/addiction if we ate out so many times in two weeks we spent $232.32?
Hmmm let me think, no, couldn't be a problem. On one income? Stupid.
We got paid 3 times this month and didn't have to pay preschool, so then we just blow that much money on NOTHING?!
What the hell is that?
I could have bought over a week's worth of groceries with that. OR anything other than fat food. I meant to say fat food not fast food, because that's all it is. Look around the next time you go into a fast food joint.
I have nothing to show for it except I didn't lose any weight this week or eat clean...so then I feel like I'm a lazy ass loser.
Worried about my kid being sick? Buy good ass vitamins/probiotics/Organic at Whole Foods but let her eat McDonald's????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Makes complete fucking sense. maybe for a moron.
What is it? What's it take to just change? Why are things that do with my and my kids health just put on a back burner like it's no big deal? Why?
Only answer I can come up with is that I am in deed a lazy ass loser...
stressed out and depressed?
Combo meal upsized.
Hmmm let me think, no, couldn't be a problem. On one income? Stupid.
We got paid 3 times this month and didn't have to pay preschool, so then we just blow that much money on NOTHING?!
What the hell is that?
I could have bought over a week's worth of groceries with that. OR anything other than fat food. I meant to say fat food not fast food, because that's all it is. Look around the next time you go into a fast food joint.
I have nothing to show for it except I didn't lose any weight this week or eat clean...so then I feel like I'm a lazy ass loser.
Worried about my kid being sick? Buy good ass vitamins/probiotics/Organic at Whole Foods but let her eat McDonald's????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Makes complete fucking sense. maybe for a moron.
What is it? What's it take to just change? Why are things that do with my and my kids health just put on a back burner like it's no big deal? Why?
Only answer I can come up with is that I am in deed a lazy ass loser...
stressed out and depressed?
Combo meal upsized.
Saturday, May 18, 2013
The Unicorn and The Dumptruck
Once upon a time...if I write a children's book, which is a dream of mine from as far back as I can remember, not really, It's a dream from probably when I was 16 or 17 years old, definately in high school thinking about becoming a teacher with my bright future ahead of me...anyways, it would never, never ever, start with once upon a time, probably copyright protected by Disney anyways, possibly by Grimm.
I didn't know I would be 36 and still an unknown author, but maybe listening to my 4 yr old could give me some crazy kid book ideas.
The Unicorn, Isabella, and The Dumptruck.......that's all I got, but I have been 'daydreaming' scenarios of Isabella and the dumptruck so, we could be onto something.
I miss you blog, we'll be seeing alot more of each other...this may be where I start writing my books...
not all children's either...hmmmm
Kendra The Unknown Author, kinda cool sounding...but man, how about
Kendra Published Author?
I read that if your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough.
I also read that authors who get published, never give up....
so my motto should be Dream It, Do It, Don't take no for an answer apparently....
for every 20 no's, maybe that one yes is out there somewhere...now to actually WRITE the book...
I didn't know I would be 36 and still an unknown author, but maybe listening to my 4 yr old could give me some crazy kid book ideas.
The Unicorn, Isabella, and The Dumptruck.......that's all I got, but I have been 'daydreaming' scenarios of Isabella and the dumptruck so, we could be onto something.
I miss you blog, we'll be seeing alot more of each other...this may be where I start writing my books...
not all children's either...hmmmm
Kendra The Unknown Author, kinda cool sounding...but man, how about
Kendra Published Author?
I read that if your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough.
I also read that authors who get published, never give up....
so my motto should be Dream It, Do It, Don't take no for an answer apparently....
for every 20 no's, maybe that one yes is out there somewhere...now to actually WRITE the book...
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Hi Blog, oh how I've missed you. I have an iPhone now so maybe I'll blog more often, but then again maybe not because I don't get ON the actual computer to do things now with an actual keyboard, so we'll see...Wait, I do get on the computer every other Friday to pay bills, so maybe I'll blog twice a month...paying bills makes me crabby usually though so maybe I won't.
Alot has happened since I last blogged. I need to see when it was, I think it was October 2011!! Maybe I'll make a list....
1.I'm fatter. Alot fatter.
2.I'm still not pregnant.
3.I have an iPhone, oh wait I told you that already.
4.We moved into our new house in Mishawaka.
*5.I actually moved into, then out and back into...this ones needs its own blog...
6.We got and got rid of Rosie the Rottweiler.
7.I'm a lazy ass pet owner.
8.I'm addicted to Words w Friends and Scramble w Friends.
9.If I spent less time on my phone and more time DOING stuff, gosh I'd get alot done.
*10.AJ turned 40.I threw him a surprise party. This could be a fun blog by itself.
*11.Aj and I have found serious quality time in riding the motorcycle together.
12.He's the Sgt at Arms in Marine Riders of Michiana Motorcycle club.
13.The families in the club are just awesome.
14.I have worn tank tops. I haven't in YEARs.
15.I have another tattoo, M-a-g-g-i-e with a butterfly, it rocks.
16.I still want sleeves..for you lame peeps, that means tattoos all over my arms.
*17.My dad had quadruple bypass and a valve replacement surgery- he's lucky he's alive really. This one too will probably be its own blog.
18.I've been married 5 years, but now I feel like it really means something. See#5.
19.Maggie went to Soccer 3 times and decided she hated it, didn't participate but a little bit...
*20. Maggie went to Mishawaka High School for Preschool this past fall! awww. This will probably need it own blog too.
*21. Seesh, My baby girl will be 4 in two weeks - looks like I'm also long over due to write her a 'bletter' (blog letter)!!
22.I had carpal tunnel surgery June 1st, woot, my hand isn't asleep!
23.I'm more thankful for what I have.
*24.I've decided I will never again say "I'll do that when I'm skinny." OR "I'll wear that when I'm skinny."- I'm not just living life and I'm tired of it - another one needs its own blog.
25.I kinda like this list thing- now I know what blogs I need to write, and if I forget, I can check out this list. ha. gosh, genius. Are you believing how smart I am? ha....hmmmm 7 blogs to follow...
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Letter to Granny
Granny,
You are still here and I'm so thankful. It hit me the other day what a fighter you are. You are the person I think of often that makes me happy. You are a vivid involved memory to me of my childhood. Some don't have that with their grandmas, and that makes me sad. You were MY Granny but I know soooo many people you were their 'Granny' too. You love everyone no matter what. You are to me the picture of what a christian woman should be. You live 20 minutes from me and I don't make time to come see you even once every other week, that is about to change. I have the fortunate blessing that I am still friends with Brian Dukehart. You sent him a birthday card and what you said in it made him cry. People know you genuinely care about them even if they don't tell you. I have memories of you that go back as far as I can remember. You picked me up from school if I was sick. You watched us after school so mom was able to work. You didn't beat me&Steven even when we drew with colors(not chalk)all over your patio&glued construction paper to your concrete basement walls. You came into my 1st grade classroom and taught us kids to candlewick. You were at every sporting event I was ever in, I honestly don't remember you missing ANY. When mom threw her back out and couldn't move, you were the one to come to my 6th grade graduation breakfast. You always had coloring books&games, which I still love even now at 34 years old! I know what a sports nut is because of you and March Madness&Kentucky! oh and thanks for making me a wheel-of-fortune&Jeopardy addict:) I have no clue how you cooked for all those people on thanksgiving&when it was time to eat it was all ready at the same time&piping hot, there were like 40 people there!! You always had your nails done in a frosty pinkish color. I can hear the 'twisting clinky sound' of your rings rubbing together when you are thinking about something. I wonder what you are thinking about so intently. Why didn't I ever ask? You and your sunporch, ha, every morning, even when it was cold, you'd be bundled up in your robe with your bible&cigarettes, it's just how you look to me, comfortable&doing your own thing! Do you have ANY regrets in your life? I know your kids and grandkids are probably your favorite thing about life, and if it isn't, well you always made me feel like I was, so thank you. Gosh, you let us live with you, all of us, one of us, another one of us at any given time, and you always made it feel like home. You cooked the best meatloaf! Oh and your eggs always tasted better than any I've ever had anywhere else. White Shoulders perfume is one scent I will always associate with you, so don't wear anything else, it's just not how my Granny smells:) Anyways, I guess I should not blog all this and I should just call you, nope not a phone call, wouldn't be able to tell you all of this without crying, maybe I'll write you a good old fashioned letter, not a print out from one of these crazy computer things 'you'll never understand!" (sorry my hand surgery got in the way of writing you this). It's been hard thinking about you not being around, I never thought you wouldn't be. Then stupid cancer came on. grrrrrr. I need Granny here. The world needs Granny here...Made me angry, made me sad, made me frustrated...then I also felt comfort because I know exactly where you are going.
You are still here and I'm so thankful. It hit me the other day what a fighter you are. You are the person I think of often that makes me happy. You are a vivid involved memory to me of my childhood. Some don't have that with their grandmas, and that makes me sad. You were MY Granny but I know soooo many people you were their 'Granny' too. You love everyone no matter what. You are to me the picture of what a christian woman should be. You live 20 minutes from me and I don't make time to come see you even once every other week, that is about to change. I have the fortunate blessing that I am still friends with Brian Dukehart. You sent him a birthday card and what you said in it made him cry. People know you genuinely care about them even if they don't tell you. I have memories of you that go back as far as I can remember. You picked me up from school if I was sick. You watched us after school so mom was able to work. You didn't beat me&Steven even when we drew with colors(not chalk)all over your patio&glued construction paper to your concrete basement walls. You came into my 1st grade classroom and taught us kids to candlewick. You were at every sporting event I was ever in, I honestly don't remember you missing ANY. When mom threw her back out and couldn't move, you were the one to come to my 6th grade graduation breakfast. You always had coloring books&games, which I still love even now at 34 years old! I know what a sports nut is because of you and March Madness&Kentucky! oh and thanks for making me a wheel-of-fortune&Jeopardy addict:) I have no clue how you cooked for all those people on thanksgiving&when it was time to eat it was all ready at the same time&piping hot, there were like 40 people there!! You always had your nails done in a frosty pinkish color. I can hear the 'twisting clinky sound' of your rings rubbing together when you are thinking about something. I wonder what you are thinking about so intently. Why didn't I ever ask? You and your sunporch, ha, every morning, even when it was cold, you'd be bundled up in your robe with your bible&cigarettes, it's just how you look to me, comfortable&doing your own thing! Do you have ANY regrets in your life? I know your kids and grandkids are probably your favorite thing about life, and if it isn't, well you always made me feel like I was, so thank you. Gosh, you let us live with you, all of us, one of us, another one of us at any given time, and you always made it feel like home. You cooked the best meatloaf! Oh and your eggs always tasted better than any I've ever had anywhere else. White Shoulders perfume is one scent I will always associate with you, so don't wear anything else, it's just not how my Granny smells:) Anyways, I guess I should not blog all this and I should just call you, nope not a phone call, wouldn't be able to tell you all of this without crying, maybe I'll write you a good old fashioned letter, not a print out from one of these crazy computer things 'you'll never understand!" (sorry my hand surgery got in the way of writing you this). It's been hard thinking about you not being around, I never thought you wouldn't be. Then stupid cancer came on. grrrrrr. I need Granny here. The world needs Granny here...Made me angry, made me sad, made me frustrated...then I also felt comfort because I know exactly where you are going.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
shud i have anonymous blog
i have so much on my mind at any given time, it's kinda sickening. i have things i probably should say out loud. things i for sure shouldn't say out loud. when i get worked up or pissed off, i cry. why is that? and becuz i cry, it makes me more mad and then i cry more because i don't want to cry when i'm pissed and want to get my point across without crying. did you get all that? then, when i type my right hand gets all pins&needley from my loveable carpal tunnel symdrome i need surgery on. don't wanna get surgery yet, that's what i said 2 years ago, because it's my RIGHT hand , my dominate hand, my butt wiping hand, my strong hand and it'll be none of those things for awhile after surgery but then i could type and blog and sleep on my right side without this annoying pain, it's just on the verge of going to sleep pins and needles but not quite asleep, then i get like electricity running thru it sensation too which is more annoying than painful but painful in its own right, don't wanna downplay the pain here cuz at times i wannna scream especially when it wakes me up at night and mama don't wanna be woken up if there isn't a baby hollering for me cuz mama needs sleep or mama bitchy.
ok
so what was the point of this? oh yes, anonymous blog or not? dammit see, my hands asleep.......kfjadsoifdo[sihsdofasofasuf[osdfij (this is how i type cuss dirty word)
UPDATE: June 1st, 2012 - I had carpal tunnel surgery.
and I don't do an anonymous blog. Thank you.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Sunday, August 15, 2010
new improved kenj3000
i am no Jen Lancaster or Julie The Wife.....
but I wanna be...
can i perk myself up?
be better?
funnier?
write more?
blog regularly?
would any of this even help?
ok , that was exhausting, nap time.
but I wanna be...
can i perk myself up?
be better?
funnier?
write more?
blog regularly?
would any of this even help?
ok , that was exhausting, nap time.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
i'd be a better bloggerKenj if...
1. My den was upstairs
2. I didn't get on facebook first
3. I could get on the computer whenever I wanted and not just when the Midge is napping
4. my computer was in my den that was upstairs instead of in the basement by where i have to do laundry
5. I thought I was better at it
6. I'd stop just wanting to read others like A DAY IN THE WIFE or JENNSYLVANIA or ALEIGHOPOLIS
7. Mine had a cooler name to it...hmmm...
8. my life was funnier...or I was drunk more...LOL ha ahah ha ha ahahaha
2. I didn't get on facebook first
3. I could get on the computer whenever I wanted and not just when the Midge is napping
4. my computer was in my den that was upstairs instead of in the basement by where i have to do laundry
5. I thought I was better at it
6. I'd stop just wanting to read others like A DAY IN THE WIFE or JENNSYLVANIA or ALEIGHOPOLIS
7. Mine had a cooler name to it...hmmm...
8. my life was funnier...or I was drunk more...LOL ha ahah ha ha ahahaha
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Wanna CRY?
If you are wanting to bawl your eyes out, listen to Dixie Chicks song Godspeed. I was told they wrote it for a mother who's son was kidnapped. I just couldn't stop crying. Seriously, the ugly cry bottom lip jumping cry came out.
I was having a bad day, so I thought. This song just punched me in the face. What if? God forbid, what if that was me? What if I was the mom with the missing child?
Oh god, please never let me know what that is like.
My emotions today are apparently on high alert, like level 27 on a 10 scale..
oh crap, here I go again.
I was having a bad day, so I thought. This song just punched me in the face. What if? God forbid, what if that was me? What if I was the mom with the missing child?
Oh god, please never let me know what that is like.
My emotions today are apparently on high alert, like level 27 on a 10 scale..
oh crap, here I go again.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
my BABY is 2
My baby girl is 2 today. I don't know how to feel about it. I have very confused emotions. I've laughed alot today but have this sense of crying creeping up. It has went so fast. I appreciate so much about her and this age, I'm afraid almost that there are some times I don't appreciate enough. She'll be 19 before I know it. I remember her at 6 weeks old when times where hard and sleep was scarce, and now she's 2. How does that happen? Seriously, she is so excited about small things, learning is fun, sings and dances whenever she feels the urge.
I need to be more like her. I should sing and dance because I want to and not care someone may look at me like I've just escaped the looney bin. Does it matter I cannot sing? I guess it shouldn't. I have some rhythm, I was a former pom girl for goodness sake, so why don't I just shake da bootie whenever I want, even if it's in the middle of the check out lane at Walmart? Wouldn't I technically still fit in if I did that at Walmart? Maybe not Target, that's too top drawer to dance in the check out, but maybe in the Dollar Spot? hmmmm. Something to think about...
You've taught me so much baby girl. You are the coolest. I love you sweettart.
Happy Birthday! I hope you always do your own thing, find joy in simple things, like to learn and dance whenever you feel like it. That is my wish for you on your day.
I need to be more like her. I should sing and dance because I want to and not care someone may look at me like I've just escaped the looney bin. Does it matter I cannot sing? I guess it shouldn't. I have some rhythm, I was a former pom girl for goodness sake, so why don't I just shake da bootie whenever I want, even if it's in the middle of the check out lane at Walmart? Wouldn't I technically still fit in if I did that at Walmart? Maybe not Target, that's too top drawer to dance in the check out, but maybe in the Dollar Spot? hmmmm. Something to think about...
You've taught me so much baby girl. You are the coolest. I love you sweettart.
Happy Birthday! I hope you always do your own thing, find joy in simple things, like to learn and dance whenever you feel like it. That is my wish for you on your day.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Book Edward, Movie Jacob
Team Edward. I am in virtual made-up cougar teenybopper vampire Team Edward club world whatever it is. The Edward Cullen in the books. Not the Robert Pattinson version of Edward. Edward in my head was not Robert Pattinson. I get that his looks are quite vampirey and he is pale so it works but...Edward in my head was not RP, just sayin.
I cannot begin to describe in-my-head-Ed. He was perfect. He was beautiful and MANLY and sweet and romantic and yummy. Rob-Ed just doesn't fit my bill, just doesn't do IT for me.
In the movies the yumminess is Jacob. Taylor Lautner might be 16 years younger than me, but hello, do you SEE that body? Well how could you miss it? He doesn't own a shirt! (Ha, good one Edward) Movie Jacob is not what I pictured either though while reading the Saga, but I offer a shout out to Casting. Woot. In-my-head-Book-Jacob was not as built even when he was on 4 legs, kinda a dorky innocent "kid" with a Bella Crush not a I-wanna-do-you-right-now-in-front-of-Edward Lust. Although the 'banter' (that's for you Jenj, one of your favorite words) between Jacob and Edward over Bella is hilarious in Eclipse. The warm-me-up-with-your-big-beefy-chest-while-there's-a-blizzard-and-The Cold One-can't-warm-me-up is a plus in my book. YuM.
In real life, when I have to choose a vampire or a werewolf, I'd choose Edward, I'm always hot and it would just work ok.
:)
I cannot begin to describe in-my-head-Ed. He was perfect. He was beautiful and MANLY and sweet and romantic and yummy. Rob-Ed just doesn't fit my bill, just doesn't do IT for me.
In the movies the yumminess is Jacob. Taylor Lautner might be 16 years younger than me, but hello, do you SEE that body? Well how could you miss it? He doesn't own a shirt! (Ha, good one Edward) Movie Jacob is not what I pictured either though while reading the Saga, but I offer a shout out to Casting. Woot. In-my-head-Book-Jacob was not as built even when he was on 4 legs, kinda a dorky innocent "kid" with a Bella Crush not a I-wanna-do-you-right-now-in-front-of-Edward Lust. Although the 'banter' (that's for you Jenj, one of your favorite words) between Jacob and Edward over Bella is hilarious in Eclipse. The warm-me-up-with-your-big-beefy-chest-while-there's-a-blizzard-and-The Cold One-can't-warm-me-up is a plus in my book. YuM.
In real life, when I have to choose a vampire or a werewolf, I'd choose Edward, I'm always hot and it would just work ok.
:)
Nicknames for Maggie
How many nicknames can one kid have you say? Well we stopped counting.
Here are the ones I can think of at the moment, they are ever changin with her attitudes but some I think will be around forever possibly...we'll see...
Baby girl
BeeBee
Sweet Tart*
Honey but pronouncing it is drawn out like huuuuuuuuuknee
Midget
Midgert
The Midge
Midge*
Magnadoodle
Maggiepaloozah
Midget Princess
Miss Thang
*come outta my mouth ALOT.
Here are the ones I can think of at the moment, they are ever changin with her attitudes but some I think will be around forever possibly...we'll see...
Baby girl
BeeBee
Sweet Tart*
Honey but pronouncing it is drawn out like huuuuuuuuuknee
Midget
Midgert
The Midge
Midge*
Magnadoodle
Maggiepaloozah
Midget Princess
Miss Thang
*come outta my mouth ALOT.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
I've created a monster
oh my gosh, some of the stuff that comes out of Maggie's mouth is soooo funny.
Some of the things, I'm like, oh no, I say that and now she's saying it. Other ones are all her little precious self!
So we are trying to break her of her pacifier, she used it just for sleeping, then it became pretty much a 19 hours a day thing, just needed it for comfort and I let her, I know, I'm getting The Mother of the Year award once again. I swore I wouldn't let her have a paci at first, then I caved. She loves the damn thing. I give in cuz Maggie's cute and I can't help it, but my caving in can cause more problems for me later and for her cuz then I have to put my foot down. Ok ok, so this is my first kid and I' m learning the hard way, big shocker. Anywho... the other day I put her down for her lovely afternoon snooze with her paci, blanket and 'peeyo'. She got up 2.5 hours later and it was time to hand over the paci. I said, ok nap is over, let Mommy have your paci. She grabs it and gives me 'THE LOOK'. I move her hand and take it from her. She says 'HEY I was usin THAT!". I laughed so hard, I couldn't help it, it was so damn funny and she was sooooo serious about it. I put her paci up on her dresser where she can't reach it, and laughed again when I looked back at her. Maggie looked pretty much offended. She was serious about using the paci and I had taken it from her and I was laughing. The look on her face made me think in her head she was asking 'um excuse me, but why is this funny?'!! I felt a little bad but had the giggles. I said with a grin on my face "Maggie honey , I'm sorry but you're a big girl and you don't need your paci unless you're sleeping." She just stared at me like yeah whatever, you don't know. She pouted a little bit then laid back down in her crib and said "I'm sleeping" and reached as far out as her little arm would reach and then said "paci?". OOOOOOOO smooth one kid, yes lay back down and act like you're going back to sleep so you can have your paci. You're smart, but I'm still smarter in some moments. I picked her, with a some resistance, like no no nap time is over and we changed her butt, got a snack and put on Robots. Who needs a paci when we've got Rodney Copperbottom and Fender?!! :)
Another thing she's saying now is "for a minute" or "a minute". Both of which are from yours truly.
When it's time for bed, I'll say ok, grab your blanket, let's go nigh night and she'll say usually with a hand in the air "I lay HERE for a minute".
We could be leaving to go somewhere and she is dilly dallying out the door and I'll say something like come on Maggie we gotta get going or move it girl or go to the car and she'll say "on porch a minute" or "watchin bird a minute". Pretty much 'a minute' has no time value, she is just telling me to stuff it! :)
Some of the things, I'm like, oh no, I say that and now she's saying it. Other ones are all her little precious self!
So we are trying to break her of her pacifier, she used it just for sleeping, then it became pretty much a 19 hours a day thing, just needed it for comfort and I let her, I know, I'm getting The Mother of the Year award once again. I swore I wouldn't let her have a paci at first, then I caved. She loves the damn thing. I give in cuz Maggie's cute and I can't help it, but my caving in can cause more problems for me later and for her cuz then I have to put my foot down. Ok ok, so this is my first kid and I' m learning the hard way, big shocker. Anywho... the other day I put her down for her lovely afternoon snooze with her paci, blanket and 'peeyo'. She got up 2.5 hours later and it was time to hand over the paci. I said, ok nap is over, let Mommy have your paci. She grabs it and gives me 'THE LOOK'. I move her hand and take it from her. She says 'HEY I was usin THAT!". I laughed so hard, I couldn't help it, it was so damn funny and she was sooooo serious about it. I put her paci up on her dresser where she can't reach it, and laughed again when I looked back at her. Maggie looked pretty much offended. She was serious about using the paci and I had taken it from her and I was laughing. The look on her face made me think in her head she was asking 'um excuse me, but why is this funny?'!! I felt a little bad but had the giggles. I said with a grin on my face "Maggie honey , I'm sorry but you're a big girl and you don't need your paci unless you're sleeping." She just stared at me like yeah whatever, you don't know. She pouted a little bit then laid back down in her crib and said "I'm sleeping" and reached as far out as her little arm would reach and then said "paci?". OOOOOOOO smooth one kid, yes lay back down and act like you're going back to sleep so you can have your paci. You're smart, but I'm still smarter in some moments. I picked her, with a some resistance, like no no nap time is over and we changed her butt, got a snack and put on Robots. Who needs a paci when we've got Rodney Copperbottom and Fender?!! :)
Another thing she's saying now is "for a minute" or "a minute". Both of which are from yours truly.
When it's time for bed, I'll say ok, grab your blanket, let's go nigh night and she'll say usually with a hand in the air "I lay HERE for a minute".
We could be leaving to go somewhere and she is dilly dallying out the door and I'll say something like come on Maggie we gotta get going or move it girl or go to the car and she'll say "on porch a minute" or "watchin bird a minute". Pretty much 'a minute' has no time value, she is just telling me to stuff it! :)
Friday, June 25, 2010
Friday by the Fountain
1st of all, Maggie refused to touch the water in the Fountain. What a weirdo.
2nd of all, the Fountain isn't always on because of the economy. Now that is just sad.
Fridays by the Fountain is a 10 year old tradition in South Bend. It's free concerts on fridays down by the fountain in front of The Morris. From 11:30-1:30 you can enjoy hanging out, listening to free music, buying food if you wish from the handful of vendors, dancing if you dance, water splashing from the fountain if you're hot, shade trees, nice sidewalks to walk or ride your scooter on, a weird double circle sculpture thing that your kid will be obsessed over, old people, young people, people on their lunch hour, moms yelling at their kids, moms ignoring their kids that need to be yelled at and ,oh, the music of course.
Today was Kennedy's Kitchen an Irish Band, who I've seen only one other time, but they are so good. Authentic Irish music, not that I've ever been to Ireland to know for sure but it's what I'd expect a band in Ireland would sound like.
Maggie, Granny and I went. We found some shade and set up camp. Not that Maggie would just sit in the shade and relax, I knew that much going in, but her stoller was comfy in the shade beside Granny. We walked around and around and around the brick circle that went by the band, around the back of the vendors and back up towards Granny. Maggie is lucky it was only 82 degrees and less humid today than it has been the last few days or Mommy wouldn't have been all about the around and around and around and around. Ha. She wanted to see the Fountain, from a distance. When we got up close, she could feel the slight splashes/fine mist and 'no like the waduh'. I thought the nice fine mist was a welcoming break from the heat, but what do I know?! Ok kids on your scooters, watch out, if you hit my daughter, I'm going to break that little scooter over your face, ok I'm ok now, their mom told them what's up! :) Although, the small scooter would be easy to pack in the trunk for kids to take places like this to give them something to do other than trying to lug around a bike or trampoline or something bigger. A scooter, a soccer ball and a football did just fine for almost every single kid I saw there. I'll put that in my memory bank for when Maggie is a little older and gets bored more easily. Right now, she is fine with her chips, her sunglasses and walking around and looking at pretty much everything and telling me all about it. Look Mommy, big truck. Wow Mommy Circles. Mommy look. Come on Mommy walk. Music Mommy. Mommy look at the waduh. Wanna chip Mommy? Hi Grinny(I love that Maggie says Granny like Grinny). Drink Mommy. Is hot Mommy. :)
Good Day.
2nd of all, the Fountain isn't always on because of the economy. Now that is just sad.
Fridays by the Fountain is a 10 year old tradition in South Bend. It's free concerts on fridays down by the fountain in front of The Morris. From 11:30-1:30 you can enjoy hanging out, listening to free music, buying food if you wish from the handful of vendors, dancing if you dance, water splashing from the fountain if you're hot, shade trees, nice sidewalks to walk or ride your scooter on, a weird double circle sculpture thing that your kid will be obsessed over, old people, young people, people on their lunch hour, moms yelling at their kids, moms ignoring their kids that need to be yelled at and ,oh, the music of course.
Today was Kennedy's Kitchen an Irish Band, who I've seen only one other time, but they are so good. Authentic Irish music, not that I've ever been to Ireland to know for sure but it's what I'd expect a band in Ireland would sound like.
Maggie, Granny and I went. We found some shade and set up camp. Not that Maggie would just sit in the shade and relax, I knew that much going in, but her stoller was comfy in the shade beside Granny. We walked around and around and around the brick circle that went by the band, around the back of the vendors and back up towards Granny. Maggie is lucky it was only 82 degrees and less humid today than it has been the last few days or Mommy wouldn't have been all about the around and around and around and around. Ha. She wanted to see the Fountain, from a distance. When we got up close, she could feel the slight splashes/fine mist and 'no like the waduh'. I thought the nice fine mist was a welcoming break from the heat, but what do I know?! Ok kids on your scooters, watch out, if you hit my daughter, I'm going to break that little scooter over your face, ok I'm ok now, their mom told them what's up! :) Although, the small scooter would be easy to pack in the trunk for kids to take places like this to give them something to do other than trying to lug around a bike or trampoline or something bigger. A scooter, a soccer ball and a football did just fine for almost every single kid I saw there. I'll put that in my memory bank for when Maggie is a little older and gets bored more easily. Right now, she is fine with her chips, her sunglasses and walking around and looking at pretty much everything and telling me all about it. Look Mommy, big truck. Wow Mommy Circles. Mommy look. Come on Mommy walk. Music Mommy. Mommy look at the waduh. Wanna chip Mommy? Hi Grinny(I love that Maggie says Granny like Grinny). Drink Mommy. Is hot Mommy. :)
Good Day.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Go Dame Go
A morning of routine
...breakfast, breakfast clean up, dishes, throw in load of laundry, put together 3 gifts for Father's Day cookout later on, read 'My Little Girl'to Maggie, watch 'Nemo', change Maggie's clothes after she almost chokes and throws up...
turned into a family outting to buy Moto Moto's Mama this year's ND Football 'The Shirt' for her birthday.
Just a drive to the Hammes Bookstore at Eddy Street Commons was nice. Maggie was trying to sing along to the radio. We hung out in the bookstore for about 45 minutes. Only complaint I have is the paint fumes still lingering in there, but I got over it. They have a children's section with nice little tables and chairs and the Midge was in heaven. She loves "Dame"! She picked herself out a little squishy football and a 'pommom'! She was the shit.
It just so happened when we got there, a new recruit, Bruce Heggie #93, was in the bookstore talking and signing an autograph for the friendly ex realtor worker lady,so Aj shook his hand. This 'kid' was super polite, smiled at Maggie, told Aj 'nice to meet you sir', lady was telling him our winter's here aren't that bad, BH is from Florida (any winter is bad if you're from Florida, just sayin), we didn't know he was anyone of 'vip' importance when aj made a humourous comment to the boy to not listen the the dilusional lady saying our winters weren't bad, but that led to "meeting" him, so it worked out just fine, the few people we came in contact with were real friendly (not my 'other' experiences with Dome related peeps but that'll be another story for another time). That's how we learned that she was an ex realtor who's worked at the bookstore for 10 years yadda yadda yadda and how Notre Damers are soooo nice, Aj told her he has a different take on that when he arrests them, I laughed, but it's true, he doesn't just sell them merchandise with Irish logos on them and books about being more Green...anywho...
Our day ended up being really nice. One of those family moments that makes me smile. Even if it was just a simple trip to the bookstore and a little walk up and down the Eddy block. Maggie carried the bag with her stuff in it and Grama's birthday present, which was too heavy and too big for her, but she owned it, she strutted it, she worked it. People passing by just said oh how cute. Yes, we know, she is adorable and she's ours, sassiness and all and we LOVE it. We think it's funny, but when she's 16 and struttin it, maybe it won't be AS funny?! :) Good day. Thank You. Amen.
...breakfast, breakfast clean up, dishes, throw in load of laundry, put together 3 gifts for Father's Day cookout later on, read 'My Little Girl'to Maggie, watch 'Nemo', change Maggie's clothes after she almost chokes and throws up...
turned into a family outting to buy Moto Moto's Mama this year's ND Football 'The Shirt' for her birthday.
Just a drive to the Hammes Bookstore at Eddy Street Commons was nice. Maggie was trying to sing along to the radio. We hung out in the bookstore for about 45 minutes. Only complaint I have is the paint fumes still lingering in there, but I got over it. They have a children's section with nice little tables and chairs and the Midge was in heaven. She loves "Dame"! She picked herself out a little squishy football and a 'pommom'! She was the shit.
It just so happened when we got there, a new recruit, Bruce Heggie #93, was in the bookstore talking and signing an autograph for the friendly ex realtor worker lady,so Aj shook his hand. This 'kid' was super polite, smiled at Maggie, told Aj 'nice to meet you sir', lady was telling him our winter's here aren't that bad, BH is from Florida (any winter is bad if you're from Florida, just sayin), we didn't know he was anyone of 'vip' importance when aj made a humourous comment to the boy to not listen the the dilusional lady saying our winters weren't bad, but that led to "meeting" him, so it worked out just fine, the few people we came in contact with were real friendly (not my 'other' experiences with Dome related peeps but that'll be another story for another time). That's how we learned that she was an ex realtor who's worked at the bookstore for 10 years yadda yadda yadda and how Notre Damers are soooo nice, Aj told her he has a different take on that when he arrests them, I laughed, but it's true, he doesn't just sell them merchandise with Irish logos on them and books about being more Green...anywho...
Our day ended up being really nice. One of those family moments that makes me smile. Even if it was just a simple trip to the bookstore and a little walk up and down the Eddy block. Maggie carried the bag with her stuff in it and Grama's birthday present, which was too heavy and too big for her, but she owned it, she strutted it, she worked it. People passing by just said oh how cute. Yes, we know, she is adorable and she's ours, sassiness and all and we LOVE it. We think it's funny, but when she's 16 and struttin it, maybe it won't be AS funny?! :) Good day. Thank You. Amen.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Squints
The Sandlot has to be one of the all time classic best movies ever. It just has to be. Here's why...
It's one of my favorite movies to watch in the summer. Baseball, Boys, some awesome quotes come right out of this movie, Hercules the monster dog (who just happens to be a smooshed face cute Mastiff), a young 'polite' Denis Leary, friends, good trouble making in the 60's, simple life, neighborhood block party on 4th of July, Each boy is so unique(could be any part of any of us if you look hard enough), smores,camp out,Ham, Benny, Smalls and (drum roll please) SQUINTS.
Michael 'Squints' Palledorous!
Is he not the perfect kid? Any mom now would want her daughter to date him. Please please please have a crush on a kid like Squints, Maggie, please. Just looking at him makes me laugh. I love him.
Squints says about his future wife Wendy Peffercorn: I've been coming here every summer of my adult life, and every summer there she is oiling and lotioning, lotioning and oiling... smiling. I can't take this no more! It's just a little tidbit into the minds of men...he may have been a boy then, but we all know they still think this way even if they're 47 years old. They never let go of their inner 'Squints'. Who are they trying to kid?! :)
For-ev-ver! I pretty much say it like this anytime my life gives me the opportunity to use the word forever...how can I not say it likes Squints said it? For-ev-ver!
You're killing me Smalls! This is one Moto Moto and i use OFTEN...it just fits in perfectly in so many instances...we use it and laugh...no better way to diffuse a 'disagreement' than laughter, thank you Ham Porter!
If you've never seen it, you should watch it. Now, go.
If you don't think it's one of the best movies you've ever seen
or you don't laugh well then...you're a pee-drinking crap-face!
It's one of my favorite movies to watch in the summer. Baseball, Boys, some awesome quotes come right out of this movie, Hercules the monster dog (who just happens to be a smooshed face cute Mastiff), a young 'polite' Denis Leary, friends, good trouble making in the 60's, simple life, neighborhood block party on 4th of July, Each boy is so unique(could be any part of any of us if you look hard enough), smores,camp out,Ham, Benny, Smalls and (drum roll please) SQUINTS.
Michael 'Squints' Palledorous!
Is he not the perfect kid? Any mom now would want her daughter to date him. Please please please have a crush on a kid like Squints, Maggie, please. Just looking at him makes me laugh. I love him.
Squints says about his future wife Wendy Peffercorn: I've been coming here every summer of my adult life, and every summer there she is oiling and lotioning, lotioning and oiling... smiling. I can't take this no more! It's just a little tidbit into the minds of men...he may have been a boy then, but we all know they still think this way even if they're 47 years old. They never let go of their inner 'Squints'. Who are they trying to kid?! :)
For-ev-ver! I pretty much say it like this anytime my life gives me the opportunity to use the word forever...how can I not say it likes Squints said it? For-ev-ver!
You're killing me Smalls! This is one Moto Moto and i use OFTEN...it just fits in perfectly in so many instances...we use it and laugh...no better way to diffuse a 'disagreement' than laughter, thank you Ham Porter!
If you've never seen it, you should watch it. Now, go.
If you don't think it's one of the best movies you've ever seen
or you don't laugh well then...you're a pee-drinking crap-face!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
i can't make this shit up
It's one of those...
(go to Walmart, get a cart that needs an alignment with a squeaky wheel, I'm too lazy to go trade it out for another cart, the princess wants to stand up in the cart or get out and walk, which doesn't make anything go at a pace I wish to keep, get done filling the cart with too much stuff I didn't even know we needed, go towards the check out lanes, and if you have ever been to WallyWorld you know there are at least 30, don't know why because on any given day there are only 4 open...anyways, there are 2 lanes and self check out open, I choose to stand in line because my back hurts on a daily basis thank you, I'm behind stinky-stretched out bra with holes in it-tank top wearing-scuzz bucket-lady, I'm breathing out my mouth trying not to take in her stench because I'm now blocked in, she gets done buying her cases of regular full throttle pop and Lean Cuisine meals and I can proceed, check out for me breathing threw any hole I choose goes fine, we push the alignment needing cart out, need to pass threw the 8 people in line for the RedBox they placed ever so cleverly at the exit door, stupid, and above movie getters don't exactly wish to move, I say excuse me twice before anyone budges, I push my cart out and it's raining, lovely, and my case of water falls off the front of my cart, ugh so i have to lift the 37 lb case of water an extra time, love that, get all my grocery bags in the cart, get the Midge strapped in her seat, nicely put cart in cart-corral which is right next to our car, I planned that, and jump in my seat to find there is something sticky now on my finger, sticky from the stupid cart handle I forgot to wipe off that I should have switched to begin with probably or it was on my car from someone other loser who wiped a booger on my handle thinking it'd be funny, either way I need a wet-nap, so I bust open my newly purchased Wet Ones that I'd already thrown in the diaper bag and the freakin bag rips, my hand is no longer sticky but now what do I do with the Wet Ones that won't close now, toss in cup holder so it doesn't leak anywhere, back up, almost hit old man, thank goodness i have back up sensors on my car, saved his precious life ha, pull out and drive down MY aisle and some jack ass is flying threw the parking lot, not in aisles, but cross ways over the empty parking spaces, i slam on my breaks and throw up in my mouth a little, make sure my baby's head is attached and no whip lash seems to be present and carry on...what i would do to that guy if i was a person who'd chase him down, just once i'd like to just take my car and go slam into someone like him, jackass, anywho...turn left by Culver's, get a hankerin for a big mess of a burger, but drive on by, take groceries home to make way into house, rains starts up again, right on cue, run baby onto the porch, take 'running' trips back and forth with groceries, a bag breaks and my egg carton falls out, splat, nice, great, wonderful, all but 2 are spared, you're lucky eggs, cuz I just about whipped the whole damn carton into a tree...would that have made me feel better?...anyways, time for nap, thank goodness, God invented naps for days like these. A break after a day of annoyances, smelly people and broken eggs, thank you God for children needing a nap so I can be lost in blog world venting, but grocery list on the fridge that should be empty now has Wet Ones on it AGAIN)
...days.
(go to Walmart, get a cart that needs an alignment with a squeaky wheel, I'm too lazy to go trade it out for another cart, the princess wants to stand up in the cart or get out and walk, which doesn't make anything go at a pace I wish to keep, get done filling the cart with too much stuff I didn't even know we needed, go towards the check out lanes, and if you have ever been to WallyWorld you know there are at least 30, don't know why because on any given day there are only 4 open...anyways, there are 2 lanes and self check out open, I choose to stand in line because my back hurts on a daily basis thank you, I'm behind stinky-stretched out bra with holes in it-tank top wearing-scuzz bucket-lady, I'm breathing out my mouth trying not to take in her stench because I'm now blocked in, she gets done buying her cases of regular full throttle pop and Lean Cuisine meals and I can proceed, check out for me breathing threw any hole I choose goes fine, we push the alignment needing cart out, need to pass threw the 8 people in line for the RedBox they placed ever so cleverly at the exit door, stupid, and above movie getters don't exactly wish to move, I say excuse me twice before anyone budges, I push my cart out and it's raining, lovely, and my case of water falls off the front of my cart, ugh so i have to lift the 37 lb case of water an extra time, love that, get all my grocery bags in the cart, get the Midge strapped in her seat, nicely put cart in cart-corral which is right next to our car, I planned that, and jump in my seat to find there is something sticky now on my finger, sticky from the stupid cart handle I forgot to wipe off that I should have switched to begin with probably or it was on my car from someone other loser who wiped a booger on my handle thinking it'd be funny, either way I need a wet-nap, so I bust open my newly purchased Wet Ones that I'd already thrown in the diaper bag and the freakin bag rips, my hand is no longer sticky but now what do I do with the Wet Ones that won't close now, toss in cup holder so it doesn't leak anywhere, back up, almost hit old man, thank goodness i have back up sensors on my car, saved his precious life ha, pull out and drive down MY aisle and some jack ass is flying threw the parking lot, not in aisles, but cross ways over the empty parking spaces, i slam on my breaks and throw up in my mouth a little, make sure my baby's head is attached and no whip lash seems to be present and carry on...what i would do to that guy if i was a person who'd chase him down, just once i'd like to just take my car and go slam into someone like him, jackass, anywho...turn left by Culver's, get a hankerin for a big mess of a burger, but drive on by, take groceries home to make way into house, rains starts up again, right on cue, run baby onto the porch, take 'running' trips back and forth with groceries, a bag breaks and my egg carton falls out, splat, nice, great, wonderful, all but 2 are spared, you're lucky eggs, cuz I just about whipped the whole damn carton into a tree...would that have made me feel better?...anyways, time for nap, thank goodness, God invented naps for days like these. A break after a day of annoyances, smelly people and broken eggs, thank you God for children needing a nap so I can be lost in blog world venting, but grocery list on the fridge that should be empty now has Wet Ones on it AGAIN)
...days.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
the faceless man in my dreams
Like seriously, 8 out of 10 dreams are about some faceless guy I meet...if it would happen to be an R-rated dream, it's usually with this NO_FACE and not my husband. Is this normal? Either way, it's not like I can help it.
In my last dream, my mom and I started going to a new catholic church that met at night. I didn't really like the new church but didn't want to tell my mom, so I just told her I'd rather sit outside in the back of the church where they have a monitor on where I can hear the sermon but be outside. In my dream, she just waved me off like whatever oh clever one. I was sitting back there and looking at the trees and tuning out the sermon because this long-haired dude was back there with me. We finally struck up a conversation...which in dream land I think lasted all but 5 minutes and we were back at his 3 room cottage gettin it on...hmmmm...we had to be quiet though because his daughter was asleep...this man again was faceless. I couldn't tell you one feature he had other than the long hair...I could probably describe every detail of his 3 room cottage though, which is just weird.
Why would I dream of faceless men? Why do I not at least, if it's not Moto Moto, dream of someone I've at least met once in real life? A book character I've conjured up in my head? A perfect fantasy man?
I CAN tell you with 100% certainty that any man I've ever had the hots for has had a face :)
In my last dream, my mom and I started going to a new catholic church that met at night. I didn't really like the new church but didn't want to tell my mom, so I just told her I'd rather sit outside in the back of the church where they have a monitor on where I can hear the sermon but be outside. In my dream, she just waved me off like whatever oh clever one. I was sitting back there and looking at the trees and tuning out the sermon because this long-haired dude was back there with me. We finally struck up a conversation...which in dream land I think lasted all but 5 minutes and we were back at his 3 room cottage gettin it on...hmmmm...we had to be quiet though because his daughter was asleep...this man again was faceless. I couldn't tell you one feature he had other than the long hair...I could probably describe every detail of his 3 room cottage though, which is just weird.
Why would I dream of faceless men? Why do I not at least, if it's not Moto Moto, dream of someone I've at least met once in real life? A book character I've conjured up in my head? A perfect fantasy man?
I CAN tell you with 100% certainty that any man I've ever had the hots for has had a face :)
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